Fat Jack's Erratic Rants

SPEAK TO ME

2010-09-19T14:34:00.000-05:00

I don’t think he’s a bad guy –– Dr. Wesley Scroggins –– when he advocates for the banning of books in Republic High School’s library and language arts curriculum, and his objections to teaching children about their bodies.

He’s simply another member of a small but vocal Christian conservative movement who is given too large a podium and too much credence for the insignificant minority his represents. Fundamentalism makes for headlines and controversies and dollars but it does not represent the average viewpoint.

I think Dr. Scroggins’ biggest problem is his perspective. The blinders of some factions of Christian conservatism and the ivory tower of academia can hide the real world from those with good but misguided intentions. He does not mean harm. In fact, I suspect Dr. Scroggins means to do good by trying to ban what he considers obscene from all persons, despite what might be in their very best interests.

For context, read Dr. Scroggins’ opinion in the Springfield News-Leader (which is only available for seven days because the News-Leader fails miserably as a news organization.

As an educator, I see everyday the words, deeds and thoughts of youth. My perspective is based on my real life experiences with young children, tweens and teens.

Fourth Grade Sex Education

Dr. Scroggins was aghast to discover that students in fourth grade are taught about reproduction. Students (pre-puberty and older) are not only aware of sexual intercourse and other sex acts, but some are actively engaging in the practice. This includes fourth graders. The reasons are varied but here are a few reasons that kids engage in various sex acts:

Sexual abuse
Peer pressure from older siblings or friends
Need to feel like and act like an adult brought on by a need for control
Early puberty
Curiosity

It is the intention of educators, many of whom in this area are Christian, is to educate children so they make good decisions. What we want from our fourth graders is for them not to have sex or engage in sex acts. Teachers, understanding students behaviors first hand, know this cannot be the only approach because children do, much to our chagrin, have sex or sex-like activities. Our goal is to educate students so if they choose to engage in sexual activity, they can at least do so to avoid pregnancy and diseases.

A decade ago, I read an article in a magazine for Christian youth minsters about the increase of oral and anal sex among middle school Christians. The kids, you see, felt that because they had not had traditional sexual intercourse, they were not having “sex”. They were just goofing around. No one could get pregnant, therefore the parents would not find out. They were free to do what they wished. Since that time, the idea of indiscriminate oral or anal sex has only increased among our youth.

One is unaware of such trends, even among Christian youth, unless they work directly with real-world children in real-world settings. Kids do not talk about such things are church. These are very real issues facing kids. For those with harsh criticisms of kids and their feelings will not be privy to real conversations even if they associate with teens. Kids are smart and can detect judgmental adults. They will avoid real talk with those adults at all costs.

Middle School Sex Education

Dr. Scroggins is quite upset over the fact that high school sexuality discussions include: homosexuality, sexual intercourse, sex acts and prevention. I am not privy to Republic’s sex education curricula so I cannot adequately discuss the accuracy of his statements as to what is and is not taught. However, the editors noted that the school district’s primary focus is on abstinence. I can speak about schools in a general sense.

As state above, educators understand the real world of teens and act accordingly. It should not come as a surprise to Dr. Scroggins or anyone else that middle school and high school students are trying to come to grips with their own sexuality (straight, gay, transgendered). Teens are well aware of homosexuality and the discussion is nothing new to them. If this is a surprise to adults, then those adults are grossly out of touch with kids and teens.

When my wife worked at a mental health facility, she encountered a young, sexually active teen. The girl did not have the information she needed to make good choices. While we would hope she would choose to be abstinent, she disagreed. However, she tried to take steps to protect herself. Unfortunately, the teen was not adequately educated due in large part to people like Dr. Scroggins. The teen mistaken used grape jelly in the place of contraceptive jelly and her body had serious medical complications. If children and teens are taught appropriately, then they can make safer decisions even if they are not the decisions we would wish for them to take. Dr. Scroggins must be aware that even devout Christian teens sometimes have sex; use drugs, alcohol and tobacco; and use profanity.

Book Banning

Dr. Scroggins is on a crusade to ban books he deems inappropriate for high schoolers based on the language use or subject material. Slaughterhouse Five, Twenty Boy Summer and Speak are three he wants banned.

Christian, atheist, Muslim, Buddhist or undefined persons have all heard the f-bomb. It is not a new word and it is not outside the common lexicon of teens of any faith. The fact is, its exposure is not uncommon among tweens and children let alone it’s use. I have heard the female c-bomb screamed loudly in elementary. Tenured elementary teachers and principals are not at all shocked to hear a 7-year-old use such words, although we deal with it appropriately. It is sad, I agree, but not unusual or shocking.

As for his objections of the mention of the rape of a character as pornography, I can only shudder at his thoughts that rape be seen as sexually gratifying to anyone.

The fact is, too many students are disconnected from literature and reading because much of the canon does not engage them, connect with them, or resonate with them. Books that deal with human atrocities, while scary, powerful and emotional, are a part of our daily news cycle and life in general. We cannot, despite our good intentions, shelter teenagers from the world if we want to prepare them to work and live independently in the world.

Rape of teens and rape by teens occurs more often than I think Dr. Scroggins is aware. Real world teachers, juvenile officers, social workers, therapists and physicians are aware of the great harm that teens undergo at the hands of adults and other teens. Teens are also aware. It is of utmost importance to teach our young adults how to appropriately deal with and address the world around us. Literature is a safe way to engage students, teach students and cultivate empathy and ethics.

To that point, I offer this video by Laurie Halse Anderson, author of Speak. In it she reads a poem that uses the real words of teens who have been uplifted and helped by her book.

This poem by Laurie Halse Anderson was created using actual letters sent to her by readers. The impact of the story on students is obviously positive and powerful. The literary and emotional significance far outweigh any negatives.

I understand Dr. Scroggin’s attempt to make this a better world by sheltering our children from things. However, this approach does not work with real children. It simply makes students incapable of handling the events of the world when they encounter them. Banning books and refraining from teaching students authentically only serves to harm the greater society. I know it is hard for him because he is trying to purify our culture. It is a fruitless endeavor in so far as you cannot mandate purity or innocence. Life is what it is. Educators act and react to society and prepare children and teens to live in that society as healthy adults.

That is my perspective.

THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

2010-09-18T19:55:00.000-05:00

Damn. I am so mad that I missed the big announcements made by Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Thankfully, due to the intersection of tubes and whatnot, I am able to stream them at my convenience. The boys, who in my opinion provide the best news coverage anywhere (although I like Rachel Maddow, too), use comedy to tell it like it is and shoot us straight in the irrational ass.

If you have not already, you should watch these videos:

Here are some suggested rally signs/posters, thanks to Stewart:

I disagree with you, but I'm pretty sure you're not Hitler.
9/11 was an outside job.
I am not afraid of Muslisms, Tea Partiers, socialists, immigrants, gun owners, gays.

If you have ever called, labeled, implied, suggested or even mentioned Hitler in the same paragraph as a given political party or it's leader(s) then you are in need of rational thought. Not that you are a bad person. It's okay. Everyone freaks. As Stewart said: "take it down a notch."

I've noticed liberals and conservatives linking to these videos (or news stories about these rally videos) all over Facebook and it gives me great comfort to know that there are people aplenty who desire rational thought above emotional and illogical hate-mongering.

A little peace does the soul a lot of good, whether it's given by God or your own intelligent mind.

OPPOSING NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND: A THOUGHTFUL ARGUMENT

2010-09-05T07:30:00.000-05:00

Yong Zhao, Professor at Michigan State's College of Education, offers a thoughtful, respectful, well-crafted defense to the opposition toward No Child Left Behind. Anyone interested in America's educational system will find this engaging. Whether America agrees or not is left to be seen.

No Child Left Behind and Global Competitiveness from New Learning Institute on Vimeo.

IS GOD NECESSARY TO HAVE ETHICS AND MORALS?

2010-08-29T18:36:00.001-05:00

I have come to the conclusion that I do not need external motivation to seek good, try to do good, or to do my damndest to be good.

I recently read an article about the human need (or lack thereof) for God. The pro side of the article stated, in essence, that human beings – society if you will – needs God to give us parameters lest we fall into a place where we do not know right from wrong and commit unspeakable atrocities. It is God, the writers contended, that gives us right and wrong. That ethics and morality are owned by God and given to us by the grace of God. I have always accepted such views (in previous decades) because the alternative, I was afraid, would lead to my immediate and painful destruction.

Yet ... here I am happy, successful, content, and most importantly, flame retardant. I wasn't struck down by the almighty for not needing him to make me good.

The discussion, which I have enjoyed immensely, has been philosophized upon by persons much smarter than myself and hosts of articles, essays and books expound upon the spectrum of ideas. The whole thing reminds me of our constant discussion in education, i.e. student motivation and behavior modification.

Education philosophies are bubbling with how best to deal with students. Texts, movements and a host of professional development opportunities are aplenty. Do we offer external rewards to change student behavior and increase student motivation or should our efforts be focues on creating an internal locus of control for students so they study, work, and act appropriately because they want to not because we bribe them to do so?

It may seem an easy question to answer but I offer that the questions are the same for both ethics/morality and school behavior programs. To be consistent, one who believes that God is required in order to have ethical and moral behavior should also believe that students require external motivation (bribes or punishment) in order to have appropriate behaviors. The the contrary, if one believes that goodness can and does exist in spite of the existence of a higher power (or belief in said higher power) then one should also support an internal locus of control (that's fancy education lingo for self-motivation) in students.

I think I believe in the need and existence of both. That is to say, there are students (and humans) who will do good and be good and seek good for goodness's sake. They will study hard, listen closely, follow directions, and act appropriately because that is who they are. On the other hand, there are students who, despite your best efforts, richest rewards and deepest bribes, will poop in your eye. Most kids (and most adults) are somewhere in between.

I suppose that means that some people need God to tell them what to do, how to act, and what to think because they are incapable or unwilling to do so on their own. Perhaps, like my kindergartners, they find peace and comfort in the predictability and comfort that knowing offers them. That is not to say, of course, that someone who needs God or finds peace in prayer is immature or juvenile. Perhaps I should say that I think we are all juvenile and immature regardless of belief. You choose whichever makes more sense to you. Others do not need an external force to define right and good and beautiful for they feel comfortable with not having concrete answers for the big questions.

WHO NEEDS BAPTISM, ANYWAY?

2010-08-22T15:00:00.000-05:00

My daughter has been asking about baptism and our beliefs a lot lately. The baptism discussion spurred on by the book Are You There God, It's Me Margaret by Judy Blume; our beliefs discussion came about because we have been visiting another church.

At this age of child development it is normal for a child to adopt the same beliefs as the family. Kids require a foundation of what they believe as it gives them peace and helps them make sense of the world. Besides, if kids do not have a foundation they can understand (religion, science, or some hybrid) they risk being caught up in any old cult or crazy belief that comes along. However, my wife and I –– despite the implication that we are imposing our will on our daughter –– feel that our daughter needs to be exposed to varying perspectives on life and religion so she can create her own theological beliefs. As her parents, it is our job to help guide her toward good and rational and nondiscriminatory belief systems.

We asked about baptism at our former church. Children must be in sixth grade and go through a class to prepare them for such a decision. Most choose baptism but some do not. I believe a class is important, even required, to help the children come to understand their decision. I think if a child is seriously asking they should be supplied the information and opportunity. I believe an arbitrary grade restraint serves only to push away an inquisitive child and is counter to most educational theories.

The real problem with baptism, in regards to our former church, is the credo that one must believe in order to be baptized. Here is the belief system that one must claim in order to be baptized in our former church, as quoted from the website forwarded to us by the current minister:

Baptism is a public act by which the church proclaims God’s grace, as revealed in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, through the use of a visible sign of God’s gracious initiative and the human individual’s response in faith. With other Christians we affirm that baptism is at once a divine gift and a human response.

Baptism, as a gift of grace, received by faith, expresses its meaning in a variety of images: new birth; a washing with water; a cleansing from sin; a sign of God’s forgiving grace; the power of new life now and the pledge of life in the age to come. The meaning of baptism is grounded in God’s redemptive action in Christ, it incorporates the believer in the community in the body of Christ, and it anticipates life in the coming age when the powers of the old world will be overcome, and the purposes of God will triumph.

This credo forces one to believe that Jesus was the human form of God on Earth. This is something we simply do not believe.
It assumes that we are sinners, evil, and in need of constant redemption. We do not put upon our daughter any guilt theology.
This credo also requires a belief that God gives us some divine gift through a symbolic tradition. We do not believe that we got a job because God willed it, children with disabilities are born to sinful parents as a punishment from God, or that God opened up a parking space because I just prayed for it. (All of these are actual beliefs from actual persons I know directly.)

We spoke to our daughter about this credo and what it means. Upon discovering what she had to believe in order to be baptized, she was much less enthusiastic. For goodness sakes, a 10-year-old scoffs at the idea of a virgin miraculously popping out a baby (let alone a God) and she laughs at the idea of a whale swallowing a man only to spit him up later. She is quite aware of the acidic digestive system and the fact that whales have comb teeth.

Some Christian churches may not actually believe these things either, but they do not actively discuss these issues for fear of losing people and money. They present these issues from time to time, but they are introduced as subtext. Southern Baptism minister Clayton Sullivan wrote about the division between orthodox Christianity and the post-Enlightenment Christian scholarship in his book "Rescuing Jesus from the Christians":

"Two groups, however, are negatively affected by the conflict between post-Enlightenment scholarship and entrenched orthodox Christianity. One group negatively affect are members of the clergy who received their theological training at seminaries where they were exposed to contemporary biblical scholarship (the kind of scholarship encountered at schools like Emory University in Atlanta and the Harvard Divinity School in Cambridge). Before attending seminaries they innocently assumed there was an obvious or normative Christian gospel. But after acquiring a seminary education, they ponder the question: What is the gospel? Discombobulated, they spend their entire professional lives in a quandry. They slip and slide when expounding the kingdom of God to their parishioners. In this regard they resemble pigs dancing on ice. While preaching on race relationships, they circumvent Jesus' opinion that Gentiles are dogs. While preaching about Jesus dying on the cross as a sacrifice for mankind's sins, they inwardly grope for an atonement theory that would make sense out of what they proclaim. Their mouths and minds are not connected. Unsure of what the gospel is, these pastors employ gospel substitutes."

I am not interested in going to a church that is too fearful of simply presenting other scholarly and religious ideas or paths to God. I want to speak about these ideas openly and discuss them and leave open the opportunity for multiple beliefs by different people. I want a more courageous and open community that will offer the congregation the seminary experience. I do not want subtext or hidden messages. I do not want to be forced to believe that Jesus is a God, nor am I willing to force my family to undergo guilt theology just to be baptized, even if that guilty theology is only presented during baptism. No one in our home believes in the inherent evilness or sinfulness of humans. We make good choice and we make bad choices and we live our lives in an attempt to do more good that harm and learn from our mistakes. Sin is fine for those who want it, but guilt theology (even in minute amounts) is not for us.

So I guess she's decided that baptism is not for her. Or at least that is what she indicated this morning. She is 10, so that might change, but I suspect it won't. We will continue our religious education by learning about many different belief systems and continue to support goodness over all things and love as a foundation for those good beliefs and works.

DECORUM

2010-07-04T23:03:00.000-05:00

For the record, I do not care for filibusters on Supreme Court nominees. I find it unfortunate that the Dems opened up this can of proverbial worms. We would be better without it. I wonder if the Repubs can every let it go and put it all behind us?

THE WOOL MAKES YOUR EYES ITCH

2010-07-04T22:56:00.000-05:00

A friend recently told me, "I'm wary of people who think they have all the right answers." This morning we flipped channels and found a religious program. We stopped to watch the train wreck. The program invited people to submit questions by Internet. The men would read the questions on air and then answer them using the Bible.

To one person they commented that it does not matter what you think or believe. The only thing that matters is what the Bible literally states.

I suspect two different people could hear that statement and come to very different conclusions. Refer to the first quote in order to infer what my response was.

GONE THE SHACKLES OF YOUR GOD

2010-06-29T11:26:00.000-05:00

I left my church.

I am going to attempt to explain the journey that has brought me to this place. However, I offer my thoughts to those who choose to read –– not as an persuasive essay meant to convert or as a document whose merits are up for debate. This is my personal story and I invite all persons to share in my experience so as to illustrate such journeys to those who may or may not be familiar with paths.

Months ago I left my church and my family chose to come with me.

The church did nothing wrong, changed nothing. The congregation did not anger or damage me and I, as far as I know, did them no wrong either. I have journeyed to a place where I could no longer pray and worship as I have in the past. To do so further would constitute a fraud on the church, the friends, society, my family and myself. I chose not to live a dishonest existence and I refuse to fool myself any longer.

I have never been able to pray in earnest in the same ways others do it. It has felt contrived and unnatural to me from the beginning despite my attempts to find it an authentic experience. When I was a child, I went with my grandmother to her Church of Christ church. During the many prayer times there the men flowed from the pew, kneeling and crying and amen-ing while a man lead them in a talk with God, as only men can truly do. I kept my head bowed, but my eyes always crept under my brow for a glimpse of those men. I observed them and wondered: “What are they doing and why are they doing it?” I still have the same questions. The difference between then and now is that I am no longer forced to keep my head bowed and I can look around at those prayer-kneelers square on and ask the question openly.

In only one short period of my life has prayer ever felt self-compulsory. I took a religious notion during my late tweens and early teens. Not because God gave me peace, answers or understanding. I was scared of sin, mostly of masturbation and sexual feelings, which I was told lead me on a hell-bound train of suffering and disappointment. I could hear the whistle blow in my heart and head and I lived in circular pattern of feelings > thoughts > guilt > clemency > redemption and then back to those pesky feelings of sin again.

Women’s breasts were sinful satchels of gyrating trickery meant to lead me to an eternity of weeping, wailing and teeth-gnashing. To give in to my own right-handed desires was a thing of evil. Natural thoughts of sexuality were a disappointment to God. Questioning our beliefs led to Satanism and death.

I prayed, my friends, many times daily to make it all go away. It did not. I started each prayer with an eloquent beginning letting God know how awesome he was and ended each prayer with “in Jesus’ name”. It still did not. Nothing worked. The cycle continued until I could stand the constant feelings of inadequacy and remorse no longer.

I think the more it did not work and the more I questioned the more traditional I became in my beliefs, as if I was the problem and my beliefs were just not powerful or hungry enough. The more evangelical I became the more it did not work.

In my late teens I gave up the practice of prayer. I felt compelled to go to church, if for no other reason but for my parents and other adults (and perhaps myself) charged with my raising to continue thinking I was a good Christian boy. And so I smoked and drank and screwed around a bit, but I could not shake the guilt of it, especially the sexual activity.

Come college, I was done with church, but I still held onto many of my church-going ideals. I think I somehow thought that no matter what I did, if I still said I believed in the old time religion I would be okay. At the same time, I was exploring with some different views of religion, although they were all within the Christian realm. I was too scared of hell to venture too far or to openly ask too many questions. I kept myself tied to my dogma.

As is pretty consistent with many American homes, it was my wife that pushed me towards finding a church. We were married and she sought out that connection to God for us and for our future daughter. The funny thing is that I wanted a church much like what I grew up with. I find that unbelievably perplexing, as I hated everything my Baptist church taught me. However, I was still fearful and that fear drove my decisions. Even if I didn’t really buy into it, if I went and pretended, then all would work out in the end. I suspect this is the case for most Christians. The wife talked me into looking at other churches, some which might have other beliefs. I went along and we found a church that fit my changing viewpoints and even influenced some beliefs, to which I am grateful. It took a while. I did my duty for many years –– contributing to the church, tithing, volunteering. Prayer was out because it’s never worked for me.

Despite my church duty, there has been a nagging all these years, a voice of reason that has questioned everything since I asked my Baptist preacher why it was so sinful for us teens to go to the school dance. To which he retorted with the sinful gyration bit. That boy who knew then that Brother Bud was wrong about women’s bodies being intrinsically sinful has been clamoring at me for years, but I feared that voice too much –– too much. What would happen if that boy was right? What would I have then?

Turns out, nothing happens. For years now I have not prayed and yet I continue to be blessed, to use a Christian term. I don’t think God blesses me any more than I think he blesses the greedy, corrupt, corporate moguls or the atheists. Somehow, God-fearing or not, people continue to reap rewards in this life. It has nothing to do with the Christianity or God, although it makes followers feel better. I don’t begrudge anyone their good feelings.

The squabbles between a one-cup communion or mini-cups, unleavened bread versus hot dog buns, church on Sunday or Saturday, one being or a trinity, or what constitutes appropriate dress at church is now lost on me. In fact, many of those arguments have wounded me and have kept plenty of folks out of the pew. I have a friend whose church requires members and frequent attendees to wear a jacket and tie. Members who cannot afford it will be supplied one. For those like me who have an inner questioner, we receive the message –– usually unintended but sent all the same –– that we are not holy enough, good enough, righteous enough to hear their version of God. The arguments that divide religions and denominations are nothing but man-created dogma and actually have nothing to do with God. I have to fix myself to be accepted into their church fold. Some require you to be one of their own to take communion. Others reject if you are divorced or gay or are pregnant and unmarried. The message is all the same regardless of the circumstance and the wounds caused by it are deep and damaging. The atrocities and discrimination committed in the name of one God or another have devastated me profoundly. It’s all done because of fear of man’s misguided understanding of God.

I am no longer fearful. I do not believe that fear should be the foundation of any religious belief; however, I know that fear is the fuel for most Americans even if they refuse to acknowledge it as I have done for years. I have chosen to rid myself of the shackles of the traditional view of the Christian God in search of a better spiritual quest.

I am down with Jesus. He was a great leader and reformer. I dig his teachings, as I understand them. But I can no longer accept the perfection of a book most of which was written more than 100 years after Jesus’ death. A human was not really swallowed up by a whale and spat out later; a woman did not spontaneously conceive. All of humanity was not spawned from two humans who had boys as offspring. Such stories predate Jesus by millennia or more; they are simply old stories retold and repackaged for a different people.

We have such stories because humans looked at the world around them and tried to explain it. A Native American tribe in California did not have science to rely upon when they tried to explain earthquakes. They could only explain such occurrences through their own experiences thus they conceived a great catfish under the earth caused the tremors. A real understanding of the world –– science –– did not come along until thousands of years later. There is no way the framers of the bible could explain life in any other way but through mythological stories. Mythology and oral stories are humanity’s traditions, but they are not reality.

So many of us have questions about whales and conception and lineage, but we are unable to release the dogma for fear. I have a friend who, when provided with biblical evidence contrary to his belief he said simply: “I cannot believe that because then I would have to change other beliefs.” I get it. I understand that fear-based retort all too well and have clung to such dogma the majority of my life. It’s scary to change your beliefs.

Interestingly enough, once I stripped my life of religious dogma, I found myself free of fear and able to look at religion and spirituality in a much broader and deeper way. I am able to make observations and discover my own truth based on experience, research, and even science.

While many religious persons claim to have the answers and know the one true path, I have only one certainty: I do not have the answers and neither do you. I do not believe there is one path to spirituality or a connection to a higher power. I am amazingly content to not know the answers, and to continue to search for my own path toward goodness, beauty and truth.

THOUGHTS ON PRAYER

2010-06-28T17:20:00.000-05:00

Fellow blogger, Ian, has some thoughts about prayer that I find coherent and well played. I've had the same thoughts recently, but I see no reason to say it when he's done such a good job.

http://ianmcgibboney.blogspot.com/2010/06/prayers-return-to-sender.html

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SCHOOL, RELIGION AND GANGS

2010-05-23T20:44:00.002-05:00

Rights and freedoms are skanky political fodder these days. So many are fighting for their rights over the rights of others, and there are no easy answers when rights conflict. One school district suspended a student for wearing rosary beads. Mother meets with school adminstrators.

My thoughts are as follows:

1. Students should have the right to dye their hair, pierce their eye brows and wear a religious symbol.
2. Schools have a duty to protect students from gangs, drugs bullying.
3. Students should not be able to use religion to disguise gang-related behavior.

So the question really becomes "are rosary beads being used by gang members in schools to circumvent the schools's anti-gang measures?" I am a teacher, but not in a high school. This is not an issue in my school, but I have no information on the use of rosary beads by gang members.

I do not believe we have enough information to make an informed decision. I did notice -- and this is significant -- that the student was allowed to wear the beads so long as he wore them under his shirt. Such a compromise would allow for a student to honor his family and still be in compliance with an anti-bully policy. He would not accept that compromise. I wonder why? The story never said.

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IT AIN'T OLIVE OIL

2010-05-23T12:49:00.002-05:00

I submit to you, for your comedic pleasure, Jason's top ten list of BP oil excuses.

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MY DOS ARE BARKING

2010-05-07T21:53:00.000-05:00

You know I am spent when I turned down the opportunity to see a comic book movie on opening night. I was supposed to meet one of my peeps, but I just couldn't do it -- my body is just too dang tired.

I am excited to see IRON MAN 2, but that will just have to wait until I recover.

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JEWELRY FOR MOTHER'S DAY, OF COURSE

2010-05-06T20:23:00.002-05:00

What to do for Mother's Day? My daughter and I bought this necklace for my wife. It's not really something she would buy for herself, but we really loved it.

I still need to go shopping for my mother. It's hard to buy for someone who has so much. I don't pick jewelry for my mother. She has impeccable taste.

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CONSISTENT NAZI STANCE

2010-05-02T21:24:00.000-05:00

I was watching the news the other day about the immigration law protests. In the background I saw a man carrying a sign depicting the Arizona governor wearing a Nazi uniform with the SS on her sleeve.

If you read my blog, you know how I feel about the Nazi rhetoric. While I'm not a fan of the law, I don't see a reason to call anyone Nazis. It is just nasty.

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A LOCAL DISCUSSION ABOUT RACE

2010-04-29T19:43:00.001-05:00

A local opinion piece in the News-Leader has spurred all kinds of trouble.

http://www.news-leader.com/article/20100426/OPINIONS05/4260349/1006/OPINIONS/Snider++Americans+don+t+owe+slave+descendants+any+apologies

Rhetorica has a lot of information about the issue. Not only did the patriotic writer (as he is billed) refer to African Americans as "colored youth," but the editor has taken heat for not being an editor. Rhetorica does a much better job than I would.

http://rhetorica.net/

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THE WIFE WAS RIGHT: MO LOOKING TO PASS CRAZY IMMIGRATION LAW

2010-04-29T18:42:00.001-05:00

As soon as the Arizona immigration law hit the news, Skinny Kitty commented that Missouri would jump on board. She was right, according to the News-Leader

http://www.news-leader.com/article/20100429/BLOGS09/100429011/State-lawmaker-wants-Arizona-s-new-immigration-law-in-Missouri

Fortunately, it won't likely pass this year, but you wait. They will try it again.

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FREE COMIC BOOK DAY THIS SATURDAY

2010-04-28T19:29:00.001-05:00

This Saturday is Free Comic Book Day. Take your kids.

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A NAZI REVOLUTION (OF IGNORANCE)

2010-04-28T19:03:00.000-05:00

We are entirely too enamored with the "Nazi" label these days, if you ask me. It's reared its ugly head once again with the crazy Arizona immigration law. Make no mistake, this law is more about getting rid of brown skins (who are taking over as the majority) than it is about being here legally.

As crazy as the law is, the folks who sponsored, wrote, lobbied, or voted for it are not Nazis. They may be a lot of things, but hey are not The SS.

Enough of the Nazi talk, already.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

SUCH A THING AS CARING TOO MUCH

2010-04-27T21:34:00.000-05:00

This article sent to me by a Jack operative.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/04/27/moms.quit.job.college.admissions/index.html?hpt=C2

At first it seems that a Mom is great for giving up her fancy career for her kids. I'm not sure that it really benefits your kids when you quit your job to micromanage their child's high school and pre-college goings-on.

Seems to me, if your kid cannot write his own college entrance exam then he's not ready for college. Helicopter mom! This Is hovering gone awry.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

GENDER BIAS LAWSUIT

2010-04-27T21:25:00.000-05:00

Walmart is in trouble again, this time with a lawsuit against them for gender bias. Here's the stat I found interesting:

70% of workforce are females
30% of management are women

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/04/26/walmart.suit/index.html?hpt=T1

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

BLOGGING FROM THE IPAD

2010-04-11T08:07:00.001-05:00

I am trying blogging from my iPad, in the chair, while watching TV. Right now it won't let me type in "compse" mode. I have click on "edit HTML" but that works just fine.

What I'm really hoping for is an app for blogger.

BETTER THAN BLOGGING

2010-04-03T18:35:00.000-05:00

I really didn't anticipate engaging in the Facebook experience as much as I have. I find I use it more as a blogging replacement (micro-blogging) than as a personal social sharing. I find news stories and with the click of a button I can share that story on Facebook and give some kind of opinion, albeit a very small one.

I wish news sites had a Blogger button I could click and automatically log into blogger, complete with a link provided. It doesn't work that way, but I think it would help the blogging community. The problem with Facebook is that there isn't room to write anything of any significance (unless you use their blogging took but who does that?)

Interestingly, I am using the blog format to discuss this. No, the irony isn't lost on me. I still love to write and that's not what Facebook is about. I just wish news outlets made posting to blogger easier, more intuitive ... more Mac-like.

NAZI ZOMBIES AND THE CIRCUS THAT IS POLITICS

2010-03-24T10:10:00.000-05:00

There is plenty of talk in the news, on Facebook and in the streets about Nazis lately. A few people are touting signs with Obama sporting a Hitler mustachio, but I discount those folks as nuttier than a hoot owl.

This post is about regular folks, normal people if you will, typically rational folks who are gumming up dialogue with references to Nazis, and history repeating itself, and other nonsense. I maintain it is all very uncivilized and does nothing to help us remember history and stay on the righteous path.

I've stopped commenting about it on Facebook because very good people are irrationally linking Obama to Hitler. They aren't saying Obama is Hitler, and in fact they say the opposite. Then comes the "but ..." and the linkage begins.

Just this morning I caught a news story on MSNBC about a new Harris poll asking Republicans if Obama is like Hitler or the Anti-Christ. Couldn't find the MSNBC video, but I did find this Yahoo news story. The results?

57% Republicans (32% overall) = Obama is a Muslim

45% Republicans (25% overall) = Obama not born in the US and ineligible to be president

38% Republicans (20% overall) = Obama "doing many of the things Hitler did"

24% Republicans (14% overall) = Obama "may be the Anti-Christ"

According to Michelle Goldberg as paraphrased by Yahoo News, "Respondents without a college education are vastly more likely to believe such claims, while Americans with college degrees or better are less easily duped."

The poll surveyed 2,230 people.

Judas Priest! I did a quick Google search of Obama like Hitler and found more than I needed. Here are a few:

This Christian Church ask who is worse: Obama or Hitler.

Similarities Between Obama and Hitler

Obama or Hitler More Likely to Bring a Nation to Ruin?

Is Obama Like Hitler?

All of this reminds me a lot of the "love the sinner, hate the sin" mantra used to "love" homosexuals while still voting in favor of laws that make homosexuals unequal to us straight-screwing folk. All of this, every single bit, is because of fear. It's making normally reasonable human beings and turning them into Obama-Hitler crazies. Can't we just talk about the issues? Can't we debate the merits of health care without being batshit lunatics?

Listen. I don't blindly follow the guy. He happens to hold many of the same views I have so I tend to agree with him. I am quite unhappy with the fact that we still have the Patriot Act. I think he should do a better job at communicating with Congress.

This is turning into a circus, a really bad circus. Even John "Across the Aisle" McCain told the American people not to expect any GOP cooperation on legislation for the rest of the year. That is about the midterm elections (GOP jobs) and not the business of the American people. Remember, there are more than 200 Republican amendments in the health care reform act. Despite what they say, Republican ideas were included. You can forget that. It's now all about elections, even though we are months away from those.

It's all nuts. People need to calm down and read the articles that state explicitly how health care reform will impact us. There are some really great things in that legislation. We should do the people's business and not be on constant campaigning status.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: I've always maintained, and continue to maintain, that there is no such thing as a Christian politician. That is to say, I don't think any of them are honest. I do support the ones that hold more of my views.)

STILL KICKS BUTT, BUT NOT FOR KIDS

2010-03-23T19:29:00.000-05:00

A few weeks back I posted my enthusiasm for the movie above. I am even more jazzed about it than every, especially after watching the R-rated trailer on YouTube. I was not enlightened enough at the time. Now I realize that this ain't a kids movie. Oh boy, it is not.

So don't take your kids, nephews, or cousins unless you are okay with them hearing the c-word (for a ladies dainty parts) and the queen mother of all dirty words. It starts with an "F" in case you are a Polly-Anna.

I am so getting the guys together to watch this at the theaters.

KEEPING YOU INFORMED

2010-03-22T18:14:00.000-05:00

I've added the pages feature to Fat Jack's Erratic Rants. I did this so you can continue to follow the articles, reports and analysis of how the health care reform pages will impact you, your employer, your family and your friends.

The links are under the header. Keep coming back. And I would appreciate any Fat Jack operatives to send me any links.

SHOOTING SOME HOOPS

2010-03-22T11:49:00.000-05:00

It's Spring break and the daughter is thinking about her summer activities. Drama camp, guitar, cheerleading, soccer, basketball? What will she choose? The wife and I are working out the details in committee and we hope to bring the vote to the floor soon:

How many activities is a 10-year-old allowed?
Is she getting enough exercise?
Is she too involved?
What activities promote her strenghts?
How can we build on her weaknesses?

Don't expect any stupid amendments or an attempt to slow the process down. The decisions must be made, as they are in the best interests of the child's development.

There's more to life than sports. Big time. Music does wonders for the brain and mathematics specifically (according to research). We need a nice balance and assurance that there is plenty of sweat time. She is so good at drama that we cannot neglect that either. Then there is the issue of what the daughter wants. We believe in choice.

The daughter is interested in basketball. She cheers like a banshee at the Lady Bears games and had a blast watching her older cousin play in a tourney. So it was off to the store today to pick up a girls' basketball. A pink and white, indoor-outdoor, intermediate size fit the bill. We've spent the last hour dribbling, practicing proper shot form, and playing P.I.G and Around the World.

We'll see where that takes us. We have a b-ball goal and never bought a ball. We needed one anyway. So no big deal to buy one even if she doesn't play in a league.

GOD'S WILL BE DONE

2010-03-22T08:47:00.000-05:00

I do have a real, legitimate religious question related to health care.

Many of my friends believe that God has his hand everywhere. That God controls who is elected and what is done. God's will be done. Many people were praying about this health care issue – for and against. So if this many people prayed for God's intervention and we believe God answers prayers (inot always in the way we want, but in what he thinks is in the best interests of his plans) can we then extrapolate that the passage of health care reform was God's will? That he determined it was the best path for America? He does not ignore prayer and there was tons of it. Or do we only do that when we like the outcome of a thing. Then it's God's will. If we disagree, then it is the Devil's work? How do serious followers of Christ answer these questions?

HEALTH CARE REFORM AND YOU: THE INS AND OUTS

2010-03-22T08:30:00.002-05:00

It passed. Now what? No gloating. No songs. No disrespect. It's time to move on. We need to be informed about how the health care reform bill that will affect all of us. The Kaiser Foundation put out a fantastic Q&A guide on how this sweeping legislation will affect us.

A Consumer's Guide to Health Care Reform

It is a wonderful breakdown to help you understand the basic ins and outs. The Kaiser Foundation went on to offer information on those items that will take effect immediately.

The Immediate Effects of Health Care Reform

I am going to print both articles out and give to my elderly grandmother. So watches the news so much and has been very frightened about all of this. Lots of people have been fearful. In fact, I would go so far as to say that people were more afraid than angry, but that's just my opinion. I'm hoping that these articles will help her be informed and less scared. She can hold the documents, make notes, underline, read and re-read.

Information is power. Power means less fear.

The New York Times also put out a great story that details how you be affected. There are different ways to search the information (by individual, by employer, by Medicare, by Medicaid. So you can find your individual circumstances and get information pertinent to you.

How the Health Care Overhaul Could Affect You

(Update: Be sure to check back often. I will continue to post these kinds of informational articles as they become available to me. Attention Fat Jack operatives: Send links my way.)

WHAT THE BILL (THE BILL) WILL DO

2010-03-21T21:17:00.000-05:00

CBS News offers a nice article on the bill. You know the one that everyone's talking about: Health Care Reform.

Click here to find out what the bill will do.

There are some great things in this bill. Great things. For instance:

I started to list them, then figured that if you want to know, you can just click on the link above and read the story yourself. No need to reprint it here. How are these things bad? They are not, in my opinion. But I tend to see Jesus as an advocate and supporter of the poor and downtrodden, not one who trods upon them.

NEWS I CHOOSE

2010-03-21T07:55:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty liberal on most things, something you should have already noticed if you stop by very often. So it may surprise you to learn that two of my favorite news programs are MORNING JOE and FOX NEWS SUNDAY. Both are Republican-learning programs.

Both shows do a good job offering various viewpoints.
Both seem respectful to liberals
I get a good feel for how Republicans and conservatives see the world and particular issues.

I want to know what other people think. The most important reason is that I feel these shows give me the tools I need to be self-governing. There are plenty of liberal-based shows that do that as well. But I want to know more about those who oppose me and I want to be able to see it in respectful and intelligent ways. Both shows seem pretty fair most of the time.

I watch MORNING JOE every morning while I work out and get ready for work. I check out FOX NEWS SUNDAY every week I can.

A LOVE STORY

2010-03-21T07:46:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, the wife and I decided to watch Michael Moore's documentary, CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY. I find his movies interesting and his approach humorous, knowing full well that I need to take him with salt ... lots of salt.

I have a sense of humor and thought it was funny to watch it on the eve of the only significant health care reform vote Congress has ever had the opportunity to vote upon. I'll have the TV on today and cannot wait to watch FOX NEWS SUNDAY (a show I watch every Sunday morning). I'll try to check out MEET THE PRESS, too (a show we sometimes catch.)

GOOGLE SPRINGFIELD

2010-03-20T11:01:00.001-05:00

I keep seeing this Google Springfield business on blogs and especially Facebook. I saw it again on Carbon Trace and wondered why I wasn't supportive of this movement. I do support the City of Springfield's effort to get Google to bring its fiber optic project to the Queen City. Currently, there are 6,717 fans on Facebook. Cool.

Google Springfield official site

Google Springfield Facebook fan site

KEEPING GAYS OUT OF RESEARCH STUDIES?

2010-03-20T10:47:00.000-05:00

This story from Yahoo is just another example of how homosexual persons are excluded from society. What is the rationale for excluding homosexual persons from health-related research studies? Who knows, but what we do know is that it is going on at a rate that was higher than expected.

GOVERNOR REPEALS LAW; IT'S OKAY TO DISCRIMINATE AGAINST GAYS IN VIRGINIA

2010-03-20T10:21:00.000-05:00

I hear an anti-gay marriage argument all that time that states that gays already have equal rights and what they are seeking are special rights. There simply is no evidence to support that claim. None.

Enter Gov. Bob McDonnell of Virginia. According to Talking Points Memo, he repealed a law that prevented employers from firing a gay employee just because they are gay. He did so by executive order. He was okay with adding veterans to the non-discrimination policy, but took out protections for gays. Adding some and taking away others nulls the "special treatment" argument.

Homosexual persons are not afforded the same protections and equalities as other persons. They are second class citizens in many ways and the leaders of the movement to keep them down are Christians.

I'M FOR HEALTH CARE REFORM

2010-03-20T10:13:00.000-05:00

Many congressional bills are not perfect when they first hit. Civil rights protections have continued to evolve (or devolve in the case of one Governor). The health care bill is not perfect and there are things I do not like (favors insurance companies too much) and things I wish were included (single payer system).

For years the Democrats have been trying to get some form of health care reform. The Republicans took great pleasure and pride in the fact that they shut down Hillary Clinton's attempt to make a go of it in the 90s. The talking points of that same party have continued to be, not on passing some form of health care reform, but on stopping it. The rhetoric is slowing changing to repealing it if passed.

I understand people's reservations. I have them, too. Will it cost more money than they expect? That is a possibility and it's scary. We need something. What we have does not work any longer. Pundits keep saying that this plan mirrors what Gov. Romney's health care reform did in his state. That makes me wonder if this really isn't about fear and keeping a liberal president from succeeding.

We need health care reform and despite what the Republicans on television keep saying (America does not want the bill) many, many Americans do want and need health care reform. I know that Glenn Beck says that social justice is evil, but Jesus was for it and so am I.

GLENN BECK WANTS CHRISTIANS TO BOYCOTT JESUS

2010-03-13T07:27:00.000-06:00

Just read the quote, then we'll talk:

“I beg you, look for the words ’social justice’ or ‘economic justice’ on your church Web site. If you find it, run as fast as you can. Social justice and economic justice, they are code words. If you have a priest that is pushing social justice, go find another parish. Go alert your bishop and tell them, ‘Excuse me, are you down with this whole social justice thing?’

He went on to relate social justice with "communism" and "Nazism." He also alluded that both the communists and Nazis were advising the White House and he claimed a new history to prove it.

Like it or not, social justice is a central theme with Jesus. If you strip that from the church's teachings what do you have left? You have lots of Old Testament stories of wars, animal sacrifices, food restrictions and plenty of rebukings. Caring about and fighting for the social equality for all persons is not a communist or Nazi belief. It is called love.

I think we are coming to a point where we are merging our political and religious beliefs to the extent that we are changing the ideals of one to suit the needs of the other. It's dangerous.

Churches everywhere are drawing lines in the sand on this one. He may have a chalkboard. He may have plenty of belief. He may have a bully pulpit, but that doesn't buy you much when you link churches with Nazism.

You can read the story here.

You can listen to an excerpt of his address here.

WOMAN SELLS GHOSTS-IN-A-BOTTLE

2010-03-12T20:03:00.000-06:00

While we are talking about crazy, why not mention the New Zealand woman who sold two vials containing the souls of the dead in an ebay-like auction for nearly $2,000 usd?

Vial one contained the spirit of an older gentlemen from the 1920s. The other held a truculent girl. Apparently, a Ouija board was used to capture the apparitions. Fret not, dear readers. The glass containers were dipped in holy water to "dull the spirits' energy."

My comic book guy (who tipped me off to the story) and I want to know what happens if the corks pop during shipment. Does the UPS truck become haunted? How does one go about pouring a soul into a glass tube? Do you run around scooping air into the vial? Perhaps you siphen the air around the Ouija board then exhale it into the container? Perhaps you smoke too much dope?

Oh I know. You just believe the spirits into the vials.

(Who is crazier: the seller or the buyer?)

FAITH HEALERS SENTENCED AFTER CHILD'S DEATH

2010-03-12T19:52:00.001-06:00

The 16-year-old boy had a urinary tract blockage. His parents had God. No one sought medical treatment and the boy died from heart and kidney failure – a completely preventable medical condition. Now the parents have been sentenced to prison for criminally negligent homicide.

Story from KGW.com in Portland.

The issue brings up all kinds of problems: freedom of religion, thou shalt not kill, child abuse. Oh crap, it just goes on and on and the shades of gray really complicate things. What if the same were applied to a family who had a standing DNR and pulled life-sustaining treatment from their terminally ill 15-year-old daughter? How do we reconcile the two viewpoints? Each had a child that was allowed to die.

Perhaps it all comes down to hope. In the first case, the teenage boy had a simple complication that could have been treated with meds, giving him the opportunity to exist. In the later example, the girl was terminally ill and was being kept alive by machines. She had no hope of recovery.

Even with such a distinction (very black and white) there is the issue of disability? Could we then argue that a child with a significant disability and who will not live past into double digits is therefore terminal and should be allowed to die? What of cancer patients? At what point do we draw the line?

I'm not sure I have the answer for you, but I can make judgments in my own mind that seem good. But it comes down to perspective. Personally, I think the parents who withheld medical treatment for a preventable disease are nuttier than a hoot-owl and I feel little sympathy for the outcome. If we get close to those gray lines, it becomes harder to figure out.

The funny part is the parents probably believed – really believed – that God would just save their son. Just because someone believes doesn't make it truth or reality. I'm sure they think they felt God talking to them or through them or around them. That don't make it so. They can feel God all they want (or think) but science shows us we have a dead kid.

SO SAYS THE WORD OF FAT JACK.

2010-03-12T19:32:00.000-06:00

There's too many hateful people with Jesus in their heart.

That's my sermon for the day. You can quote me if you like.

SCHOOL CANCELS PROM RATHER THAN ALLOW LESBIANS TO ATTEND

2010-03-11T19:20:00.000-06:00

In yet another school-sponsored bully session against homosexuals, a Mississippi high school cancels prom after a student (and the ACLU) filed suit when the district forbade a lesbian student from wearing a tux and attending with her girlfriend.

You can read the nonsense here.

Once again, Christians are at the forefront of the movement to discriminate. A local Baptist pastor, Bobby Crenshaw, defended the move as biblical. The mayor is supportive of the school district's decision, too. There was a time when we didn't allow Blacks in schools or at white water fountains. These homosexual haters claiming God are going to find themselves very embarassed at the way they have portrayed God one of these days.

NO QUEERS IN CATHOLIC SCHOOL

2010-03-10T19:08:00.000-06:00

The Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ has kicked out one student and prevented a younger sibling from entering simply because their parents are lesbians. They have the right, of course, as they are a private school. That doesn't mean that it is in line with God's teachings.

You can read the story here.

My question centers, not on the church's beliefs, but on the church's consistency with following God's will as they define it. Are people who engaged in any of the following also being denied a religious education based on not following the strict tenants of the Catholic belief system?

Divorcees (even if they are remarried)
Anyone who has engaged in an extra-marital affair
Those who curse
Smokers
Alcoholics
Families who use birth control
Masturbaters

My guess is, no. The only families whose children are not allowed to go to this school are those whose parents are homosexual. It's not discrimination if it God's will. Just remember, this is done by those who love the sinners so much.

THE CRYBABY OF MODERN POLITICAL NEWSERTAINMENT

2010-03-10T18:43:00.000-06:00

This is a good funny lampooning the ever-weepy Glen Beck.

PORKSODA

2010-03-09T20:20:00.000-06:00

My PRIMUS playlist inexplicably loaded first on my iTunes player today. I have no idea why as I haven't listened to that band for years. I nearly forgot how much I love their funky sound and funny lyrics. The bass lines are wicked-cool and the cymbal work on NATURE BOY is hypnotic. I've included the lyrics to two of my favorite songs from the album, Pork Soda:

MY NAME IS MUD
My name is Mud
Not to be confused with Bill or Jack or Pete or Dennis
My name is mud and it's always been
'Cause I'm the most boring sons-a-bitch you've ever seen
I dress in blue-yes navy blue
From head to toe I'm rather drab except my patent shoes
I make 'em shine, well most the time
'Cept today my feet are troddin' on by this friend of mine
Six foort two and rude as hell
I got to get him in the ground before he starts to smell
My name is Mud

My name is Mud, but call me Alowishus Devadander Abercrombie
That's long for Mud so I've been told
Told that by this sonsabitch that lies before me bloated blue and cold
I've got my pride, I drink my wine
I'd drink the finest except I haven't earned a dime in several months
Or were it years
The breath on that fat bastard could bring any man to tears
We had our words, a common spat
So I kissed him upside the cranium with an aluminum baseball bat
My name is Mud

NATURE BOY
I pull the blinds then I take my clothes off
Dance around the house like nature boy
My genitalia and pectoral muscles aren't quite what I would like them to be
But you don't see me
No one can see me

I pull my blinds
Fill out my income tax form
Pen in hand I write so legibly
I have my kitty. His name is Allowishus, I stroke him
But you don't see me
No one should see me

I pull the blinds
For the sun glares off my tele and I find it quite so irritating
I have my videos-loads of Ren and Stimpy
Bottom-a bit of pornography
But you don't see me
No one should see me

I've been persecuted since I sailed in through the door!
And I've been known to sing a song in 3 and 4 and 5!
And I've been gettin my ass chewed since the day I arrived!

I'm home alone, my friends, soaking in all the pork soda I can before the family arrives. I love finding old music again. It's like reading an old book.

BANG!

2010-03-09T20:04:00.001-06:00

THE BIG BANG THEORY is the funniest show on television in years. I like being the key demographic because shows are made for me and I love it. Screw getting old. These four guys are my friends – well, not the genius part but the geeky, comic, sci-fi, technology part for sure. Geek is chic, baby.

Who knew that the senior citizen channel (CBS) could put out something so hip? Click here for the official page.

TOP TENS

2010-03-09T19:41:00.000-06:00

Jason's Top Ten Fave Lines from Fat Jack's Erratic Rants. We didn't expect our own top ten, but thought it was fun. [Insert best Beavis and Butthead giggle.] Thanks for the ribbing, Jason.

We sincerely appreciate Jason's funny bone as he gives us funny things to talk about. By the way, one of my favorite blogbytes involves the phrase "donkey-on-turtle sex,"which I support.

OSCAR PUT THE HURT ON AVATAR

2010-03-08T22:03:00.000-06:00

No doubt you've heard that THE HURT LOCKER stomped out any real aspirations of AVATAR. The sci-fi flick won some well-deserved statues for special effects and other things, but a stolen script didn't win out in the end. [whew].

More than anything our group noticed how poorly the Oscars were produced and directed. There were so many sloppy mistakes and awkward moments that it affected the enjoyment. The crowd was visibly more somber than usual (and I'm not talking about George Clooney's schtick with hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin). Every time they panned the crowd, folks looked like they were genuinely bored or unhappy.

Once again Quentin Tarantino was snubbed. It really seems that the Academy hates Tarantino for some reason. It is the blogger's opinion that Tarantino is the greatest film maker of my generation.

I had a great time anyway, although I was dragging this morning. I added some new movies to my Netflix queue.

A TRAILER FOR EVERY ACADEMY AWARD WINNING MOVIE ... EVER

2010-03-07T06:23:00.002-06:00

Now, you can fully enjoy all the Academy Award goings-on even if they do give AVATAR an award it doesn't deserve. (Click of the keyboard to J.R. for the link.)

A Trailer for Every Academy Award Winning Movie Ever -- powered by Cracked.com

AWARD SPEECHES I'D LIKE TO SEE

2010-03-06T18:13:00.000-06:00

Cinephile and Oscar genitalia-toucher, Jason Rohrblogger, already has his Academy Award speech ideas on the net. Now all he has to do is move to Cali, work as a waiter, get discovered after pleasing the director, make a movie that spares us any full frontal nudity or back hair, and win his Oscar. Then he can thank everyone with such statements as (my personal fav):

I especially appreciate my fellow nominees for not being talented enough to compete with my performance this year.

Jason. When are you going to feature your number one Internet fan and promoter in one of those handy-dandy top ten lists?

DEPRESSION, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS OVER A FREAKING MOVIE

2010-03-06T16:43:00.000-06:00

Apparently, people are so enamored with the magical world of Pandora depicted in the movie AVATAR that they are experiencing depression and suicidal thoughts because they can't live there. All this crazy hubbub over a movie that is a nothing more than a weak mishmash of ideas stolen from other scripts covered in an admittedly well done CGI gravy.

Oh yeah. Fans are reporting experiencing depression and considering suicide according to CNN. I can't stand it. The only thing that movie did well, and does deserve an Oscar for, is the CGI. And I simply can't explain AVATAR inducing depression except to say that people must walk in with profound sense of malaise and depression to begin with.

I can see how it's ripping of other scripts might make one angry. I'm depressed that it's up for so many Oscars. I might self-mutilate by slamming my head against the wall or gauging my eyes out with a hot poker if AVATAR wins. But killing myself over its cinematography or story? Judas Priest!

WATCHING THE OSCARS

2010-03-06T16:32:00.000-06:00

We are hosting an Oscar party this year, thanks to both of us being employed. (I was still getting my master's this time last year.) Skinny Kitty is out of town all weekend for a scrapbook retreat and that leaves the daughter and I to get everything ready. I'm not dirtying up a kitchen to cook for 15 adults and 5 kids, just to clean it up all by myself. No thank you. Skinny Kitty will come home on Sunday to several gourmet pies from Arris' Pizza.

In celebration of the Oscars sometimes ridiculous winners, I offer 5 Reasons the Oscars Matter Even Less Than You Thought from Cracked.com. Those bastards are going to choose AVATAR to win all kinds of nonsense. I just know it. I will spew like that girl in THE EXORCIST. Therefore, we are changing our rules of engagement. No longer will attendees mark down their best guesses for who will win at the Oscars. This year, we are recording who we would choose if we were the judge and jury.

If you need more Hollywood laughs, try out these stories from the same comedic crew at Cracked.

5 Careers Destroyed by the Post Oscar Curse

5 Things Hollywood Reuses More Than Plots

MUST SEE INTERNET TV

2010-03-06T07:28:00.001-06:00

Remember these guys dancing on treadmills in their music video? How cool was that? Well, the band known as OK Go has a new video featuring an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine. These guys are so much fun to watch. They are a group who has really merged music and video, making them a band that must be viewed and not just listened to.

A WEEKEND AWAY

2010-02-28T12:10:00.000-06:00

The child of mine was spirited away with the cousins toward Oklahoma, giving the wife and I a weekend to ourselves. It's been a long while since we had time together as a couple and I didn't know how much I missed and needed that time.

We have enjoyed long romantic dinners, movies, some shopping and much needed talk. I hope we don't neglect ourselves for so long as I don't think that makes for good relationships. Although our relationship is strong, it is much more connected now that we had some time alone.

THE HANGOVER and SEVERANCE were much required R-rated escapes. THE HANGOVER, in my opinion, is a true date movie, but then again I am a bit strange. SEVERANCE was a whoop and holler comedic slasher.

Not to neglect our artsy fartsy side, we also watched INSIDE DEEP THROAT – a documentary film about the pornographic movie from the 70s that profoundly changed the sexual attitudes. I had no idea any X-rated movie had such an impact on society. Thousands of regular folks, who would never watch porn otherwise, flocked to movie theaters to see DEEP THROAT. The documentary is rated NC-17 and is certified fresh (82%) by Rotten Tomatoes.

MO SCHOOLS TO SEE CUTS SOONER AND LATER

2010-02-24T20:14:00.000-06:00

Speaking of educational issues, KY3 reports budget problems for Missouri's K-12 institutions to the tune of $43 million (2 percent shortfall). Rep. Maynard Wallace (R-Thornfield) wants to change the law to allow school districts to reduce teacher pay (the story does not say how much of a reduction) and eliminate professional development in order to keep their jobs.

Personally, I'd rather get paid less and still have the opportunity to do the job I love so much, rather than become unemployed. That's just me. I'd rather not see cuts to my salary at all.

TEACHERS, ADMINISTRATORS FIRED

2010-02-24T20:07:00.000-06:00

CNN carries the second installment to a story I mentioned earlier today. All the teachers and administrators at Rhode Island's lowest performing high school were fired by the school board. (How exactly do you put that on your resume? As if there were any teaching jobs out there.)

FIRE ALL THE TEACHERS!

2010-02-24T08:04:00.000-06:00

CNN has the story of a Rhode Island school district superintendent whose desire it is to fire all the 74 teachers in the lowest performing school in the state. The problem with stories like this is that it is presented very few specific facts (except overall scores of the students). The story does not help the population govern itself as we cannot make educated decisions because we are not really educated.

What is the culture of the school? Is it a positive and encouraging atmosphere or a toxic one?
What is the culture of the families in the school community? Do they support making their children better or disdain all things educational?
What is the overall attitude of the teachers?
What is the overall attitude of the administrators?
What kind of district support (money) does the school receive compared to other schools?
What kind of district support (not money) does the school receive compared to other schools?
How is the district responding to the specialized needs of persons in poverty?
What pedagogy are the teachers using to educate the students?
How do the teachers design learning environments specific to persons in poverty?
What amounts of tutoring are already going on in the school?
What are teachers doing to reach students and establish strong relationships?
Why is there such a turnover rate with principals in this school?

In order to determine the causes of the problem and make strides to repair the damage and educate students, harder questions must be asked beyond graduation rates and math proficiencies (both important questions in identifying there is a problem, but superficial questions in regards to addressing the problem.)

To even take a side with this lack of real questioning is to succumb to certain political and world views rather than addressing the individual school's issues. I have my own world views and could make sweeping statements based on those world views, but it would be just as uneducated as both of the persons interviewed. In order to properly govern ourselves, we need deep questions and further exploration.

I DON'T NEED NO EDUCATION

2010-02-20T17:04:00.000-06:00

Why don't you limit enrollment?

That's what Missouri House Appropriations members asked of university presidents this week in response to the crisis facing higher education budgets in 2012. The AP quoted Rep. Rick Stream, R-Kirwood, (through the Springfield News-Leader), "As bad as 2011 looks for us, in 2012 we're going over a cliff." Elementary and secondary schools are also facing serious cuts in the coming years.

It seems to me that limiting enrollment is counter productive to boosting an economy. If people are out of work, then new skills and education are the keys to getting into a more robust field. If we limit access to higher education, then even when jobs open up, there won't be enough qualified people to fill them. I don't understand the logic when it comes to contempt for education.

FIVE RINGS AND A TORCH

2010-02-20T10:38:00.000-06:00

I give a big fat Pfff to all things figure skating and ice dancing. I recognize those are the most popular events at the winter olympics (and requires a lot of athletic prowess), but it's like sitting through a romantic comedy where everyone is dressed in Mardi Gras costumes. The enjoyment of which just proves that people don't have very good taste. Downhill skiing, super g, snowboarding, snowboard cross, curling, and luge, are much more interesting and exciting. Yes, even curling. I find it so strategic and interesting.

My friend Jason Rohrblogger has some suggestions for new winter Olympic sports. I only find one failing in his list: His number 10 is my number one.

Is it wrong to find that most of the events I enjoy involve the possibility of bodily harm? Not very civilized, I know, but I can't help it. The impending doom jacks the whole thing up to an acceptable level of engagement for me. Curling being the exception. It's so cerebral and strange that I am fascinated with it. I suppose that might be because the sport is more accepting of those with less-than-athletic physiques. What is the deal with those little brooms? Do they really make a significant difference?

For those who need more comedic Olympic nonsense, you are directed to read the 5 Ways to Enjoy Terrible Winter Olympic Events.

I'LL VOTE NO BUT TAKE THE CREDIT ANYWAY

2010-02-17T19:30:00.001-06:00

The Bus is plunging deep into political discourse today, and for good reason. It is coming to light that hundreds of conservative legislators who voted against the Stimulus package are now cutting ribbons and taking credit for the good the Stimulus has produced. The head of the hypocrisy campaign is Missouri's own Roy Blunt.

111 Lawmakers Block Recovery While Taking Credit for It's Success

Blunt to Tour Brownfield Program Made Possible by Obama's Stimulus Package

Blunt: "No Comment"

It seems the Stimulus did much more than opponents claimed. It put legislators in a quite a quandary to vote against a thing that ultimately saved jobs and created good things in their communites. So they simply take credit for the good things even though the Stimulus really paid for it.

Saving jobs during a Depression-close recession is the same thing as creating jobs. The longer it goes, the more evidence that no stimulus likely would have left us with a full fledged, all-out Depression. A depression is not good on any society. Thank goodness we don't have one.

Thanks Bus-Man. Please keep driving; I need the ride.

BURY THAT SUCKER!

2010-02-16T20:46:00.000-06:00

The other night my wife gave our puppy a dingo treat. He loves those things and chewed on it for quite a while. Instinctual preservation being what it is, he only ate part and sought to save the rest. As I worked at the computer Barkley came in and jumped on the futon in my office with slimy dingo in tow.

I mainly use the futon as a closet, a fact that drives the wife nuts – not nuts enough to put the laundry up for me (which she shouldn't and I don't expect). So I tend to the let the laundry accumulate and just get my undershirts, underwear and socks from the futon. I'd ask you to guess how far away my chest of drawers is, but it wouldn't make me look good.

So the dog perches atop the laundry and proudly assesses the scene. He then turns and paws at the clothes until he makes a hold of sorts. The dingo gets dropped between the clothes and the back of the futon. He then uses his paws and nose to hid his treausre with my laundry.

GOOD GREEK MYTH TAKES A BACK SEAT TO ACTION SEQUENCES

2010-02-13T22:19:00.000-06:00

PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS: THE LIGHTING THIEF is book one of a very popular series among tweens and teens. It's been on the NY Times Best Seller list for 130 weeks. Last summer I read it to my daughter and we both enjoyed it thoroughly.

Percy, a 12-year-old discovers he is a demi-god, a child produced from the union between human and Greek god. Percy spends his time in trouble, battling dyslexia and ADHD, until he finds himself in a camp for demi-god kids. Eventually, he discovers he is the son of one of the big three, Poseidon. As the story unfolds, we discover Zeus' power – his lightning bolt – has been stolen and he believes Percy is responsible. The young protagonist, with two friends in tow, must find the bolt and return it to Zeus before the summer solstice.

Percy runs into many mythological Greek creatures – Medusa, Ares (god of war), Hades, Persephone, the furies, and others. The connections to the 3,000 year old myths are exciting and adventurous, increasing a kid's interest in mythology and the heroes journey.

Now the book has been dubbed a Harry Potter knock-off and the fact the movie was made by Chris Columbus only proliferates that stereotype. The characters have similarities:

Both young boys
Both go on an adventure with another boy and girl
Both go to a place to be trained with others like them
Both battle creatures
Both go on heroic journeys

The truth is, our heroic journey stories, called the monomyth, is grounded in Greek literature. In fact our modern super hero stories are rooted in those 3,000 year old myths. What author Rick Riordan does is revamp the Greek myth for a contemporary audience, giving kids a reason to read and study the cradle of Western literature.

Choosing Columbus to direct the PERCY movie was a ghastly decision. It did nothing but draw more connections between HARRY and PERCY. On top of that, he took a solid story and hacked the character development out of it, aged the characters by 5 years, melted away the mystery of the narrative by revealing all the secrets in the first few minutes, and changed significant plot elements for no significant reason.

He left us with a movie that cared about nothing but action sequences, utilized shabbily-designed CGI, and washackneyed. It won't please the audience much (unless they are nothing but shallow trolls, or young and forgiving tweens) and it will anger fans. What's the point?

The theft was not of Zeus' bolt, but of Columbus' treachery of dissolving all the interesting and important details from the story. Do yourself a favor: read the books and skip the movie. If you must see the movie, accept what it is before going in. Just enjoy the action and leave it at that. It doesn't completely suck. It's just that ... it could have been great with a little bit of planning and love of the source material. It's obvious Columbus doesn't care a thing about PERCY.

THE BELL TOLLS FOR YOU, ZOMBIE

2010-02-13T17:17:00.000-06:00

While the daughter was playing at a friend's house, no doubt gaming, Skinny Kitty and I watched ZOMBIELAND on Blu-Ray. This is one that I've been anticipating for months now. It was on very long wait on my Netflix queue.

It did not disappoint, which is consistent with Rotten Tomatoes' certification: 89% Fresh. It was juicy with gore-a-plenty and heaps of humor to boot. I've been a fan of Woody Harrelson ever since NATURAL BORN KILLERS a movie that was heavy with political and social commentary – one that was beyond its time.

ZOMBIELAND is nothing like NBK. Not at all. It's more in line with SHAUN OF THE DEAD (91% Fresh) or SLITHER (85% Fresh), both movies that I highly recommend for those who love hysterical monster/zombie flicks.

RAPE AND ROMANCE: A VALENTINE'S DAY DITTY

2010-02-13T12:03:00.000-06:00

As Valentine's Day approaches, I have to write something about love and romance, but the truth is I'm not so much the romantic. Mushy gushy, schmoopy slop ain't my way. I do buy Skinny Kitty plenty of jewelry to keep her happy and I have sent flowers, and I tell my sweetie I loves her – cause I do.

But don't be expecting any romantic love songs from this writer. I will, however, provide you some twisted looks at romance with Cracked.com's comedic love song tribute entitled "8 Romantic Songs You Didn't Know Were About Rape".

You can bet your sweet candy heart that Chris Hansen will get a woody over these love ballads.

WE NEED MORE DEATH

2010-02-09T22:05:00.001-06:00

… in the TV show, HEROES.

Last night Noah, otherwise known as "Horn Rimed Glasses" (HRB), was trapped with Claire inside a trailer house 50 feet underground. Claire could live because of her special abilities, but Noah could not. At the last minute, good old Tracy-the-Water-Girl trickled in and saved them both. Ho Hum. (Caution: boring old plot device in use.)

The story would have been so much better had Noah died. It would have been poetic (the literary term being "foreshadowing") for Claire's next move to out herself as a special. He was, after all, the figurative locked door of her closet. Once dead, she could come out of said closet and be her true self: a person with abilities, which is really just a metaphor for oppressed peoples (be they ethnic minorities, persons with disabilities, women, or homosexuals).

Instead, they chose the easy way out by letting Noah live. She still came out, but it didn't really make sense for her to do that. What was the real impetus for her to change? If she wanted to protect her father, she would not have come out as her actions will cause him all kinds of grief.

It's all so sad because NBC missed a real opportunity for good storytelling.

I did enjoy the 5-year/5-hour time-space dream sequence with Sylar and Peter. I've never said it aloud, but I don't care for the actor who portrays Matt Parkman. The execution of his powers always comes off trite and poorly acted to me. Always the same side glance.

I am excited to see how Claire's outing affects all the specials. I am particularly interested in the avenue NBC takes it. How will it compare to the stories in X-Men or Civil War? Let's hope that NBC does a better job with the storytelling than Marvel did with the ending of Civil War. Humans versus Special always makes for interesting narratives and metaphors to other civil rights movements. Who would be the Professor X (Martin Luther King Jr) and the Magneto (Malcolm X) characters in HEROES?

From my perspective, HEROES can stand as an analogy for any civil rights movement, but I think it is particularly apropos to the gay civil rights movement. You don't declare yourself as a person of color. It's apparent. However, you have to tell folks you have special powers or are gay.

Anyone else follow HEROES, or am I the lone blogger round these parts?

A METAL LULLABY

2010-02-08T19:23:00.000-06:00

I'd never heard of such a thing until a friend introduced me to Michael Armstrong who takes rock and metal songs (mostly Metallica, but Led Zepplin and other, too) and turns them into lullabies. It's the most discombobulating thing to experience ... but I like it. It's strangely quaint and calming, if you can imagine.

WHAT IS ALL THIS NONSENSE ABOUT TELEPROMPTERS, ANYWAY?

2010-02-08T19:12:00.001-06:00

Skinny Kitty called it before any of the news people even noticed. She saw right away, right after Sarah Palin made the crack about Obama being a "charismatic guy with a teleprompter" that she had notes written on her hand. Right on her hand.

We laughed like crazy about it all night and into the next morning when the media finally noticed it. I told Skinny Kitty that it would have been nice to have TiVo so we could go back and confirm it was notes on her hand.

I don't get it. Good speakers use notes and high level politicians use teleprompters. They've done it for years. I don't get the big deal. Personally, I don't care if one has notes on the hand or a screen, but I just find it hysterically hypocritical to make fun of one while you do the other.

Not terribly authentic or honest.

I AM NINJA; NOW YOU DIE!

2010-02-04T19:41:00.000-06:00

What prepubescent boy doesn't dream of someday being trained as a ninja? Come on. How cool would that be to run around in the dead of night blowing poisoned darts in the necks of the nefarious, lodging ninjas stars in their craniums, cutting enemies in half, and scaling walls with climbing spikes? And the disappearing smoke bombs. Sweet Judas Iscariot those puffs of smoke are some kind of bad ass.

Unfortunately, not all who wish to attain primo ninja status make it past the outfit stage. Once you grow your short hairs, your dreams of becoming a real life, katana-carrying assassin fade away, replaced by the vicarious living of said fantasy through the art of watching old martial arts films on DVD. Only the truly poo-bah-tic actually think their are freaking ninja.

Makes for funny reading.

TOO TIRED

2010-02-03T21:01:00.000-06:00

My reading interest has taken over lately, leaving little time to blog. I love writing and having my own personal online magazine, but the desire to read The Mice Templar and other titles have just hit me solid. Hell, I'm not even interested in writing this post.

Were I not too tired to get out of this chair, I would not bother and just go read. Today was a rough one, kids. I tried answering email and checking on blogs but I couldn't. I just sit, click, daydream, and click some more – forget actually reading anything.

I have nothing pithy, clever or even offensive to say. I'm just blathering on for no good reason. Are you still reading? I'm going to read, now, that is if I can get off my duff long enough to traipse through the kitchen and pick up a comic.

A WHOLE BUNCH OF OSCAR

2010-02-02T19:26:00.000-06:00

The Oscars were announced I am jazzed that Quentin Tarantino is up for Best Picture and Best Director. He is the filmmaker that speaks for my generation or to my generation. I swear I am going to eat my pinky toe if Avatar wins in either category (and I think it will win at least one if not both). We don't need reconstituted stories to win the top accolades. Besides, it's the last film I would pick to win. (I did like it, just not enough to win anything.)

Anyone else notice how many films were up for Best Picture? Ten. Ten films. I don't recall that before.

Avartar
The Blind Side
District 9
An Education
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
A Serious Man
Up
Up in the Air

The House of Jack is once again having an Oscar party. Now that I graduated and have a job we can relish in the pomp of Oscar. This year we will change the rules of our contest. Each member picks the movie he or she would vote for if s/he had a vote.

I'm surprised that District 9 is up for Best Picture. Sci-Fi being considered for a statue? I'm assuming Up will win for Animated Feature, as it was also nominated for Best Picture, but Coraline was really good, and I've heard wonderful things about The Fantastic Mr. Fox. Can't wait for that one on Blu-Ray.

Click here for the entire list of nominations.

CHRISTIAN ORGANIZATION ADVOCATES FOR PROSECUTION OF GAYS FOR BEING GAY

2010-02-02T19:08:00.000-06:00

Peter Sprig a Senior Fellow for Policy at the Family Research Council is opposed to gays in the military and he made known three significant opinions of his and his organization (thanks to his interview on Hardball with Chris Matthews):

Gays should not legally be allowed to serve in the military.
Example: A 22-year-old gay person should only serve in civilian capacities.
The U.S. should outlaw gay behavior.

"I think there would be a place for criminal sanctions against homosexual behavior."
– Peter Sprig

I hear over and over again that Christians do not hate gays, they simply hate their behaviors. Furthermore, I hear constantly that homosexuals are not being denied any rights. Sprig is advocating for the rights of gays to serve be denied and that we bring back sodomy laws and prosecute homosexuals for their bedroom behaviors. How does that "love the sinner, hate the sin" thing go again?

Two top military leaders testified on Capital Hill today that gays should be able to serve openly in the military. Apparently, he's not afraid that soldiers will leave the military en mass if they are forced to serve next to gay soldiers, as Sprig seems to think. Haven't gays always served in the military (and other soldiers aware of it)? Didn't people make the same arguments when women entered the military?

Watch the Hardball interview. Sprig was blunt about his beliefs.

I CAN'T FLY, BUT I CAN KICK YOUR ASS

2010-01-30T07:45:00.000-06:00

I was jetting through Apple's movie trailer page when I saw the poster above. What the …? I had to click. It just looked like fun. What I found was a fun teen comic fanboy movie. The title alone, KICK-ASS, is enough to make me want to see it, just like SNAKES ON A PLANE. The trailer sealed the deal.

From the website:

A twisted, funny, high-octane adventure, director Matthew Vaughn brings KICK-ASS to the big screen. KICK-ASS tells the story of average teenager Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson), a comic-book fanboy who decides to take his obsession as inspiration to become a real-life superhero. As any good superhero would, he chooses a new name — Kick-Ass — assembles a suit and mask to wear, and gets to work fighting crime. There’s only one problem standing in his way: Kick-Ass has absolutely no superpowers. His life is forever changed as he inspires a subculture of copy cats, meets up with a pair of crazed vigilantes — including an 11-year-old sword-wielding dynamo, Hit Girl (Chloë Moretz) and her father, Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) — and forges a friendship with another fledgling superhero, Red Mist (Christopher Mintz-Plasse). But thanks to the scheming of a local mob boss Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong), that new alliance will be put to the test.

I'm thinking this one requires a trip to the theaters with friends. You really must watch the trailers.

QUIT YER BARKING

2010-01-28T21:50:00.000-06:00

I sure wish the Congressional Democrats could have done more over the last year to make significant changes. Unfortunately, they used their super majority to do nothing more but bark and flutter about. They should have voted for significant health care change, IMHO. I hope the Dems get it together and make changes (even if it's it to issues other than health care).

POLITICS OR PLATFORM?

2010-01-28T21:43:00.000-06:00

I was baffled the other night when Obama stated if bank's can give big bonuses then they can repay taxpayer bailout money. Dems jumped to their feet and applauded while Republicans sat. If conservatives are so opposed to the stimulus, then shouldn't they want that money paid back?

I think they should pay the money back if and when they can. If they are in good enough shape to award bonuses then they can pay their money back so we can bring the deficit down. Doesn't that make good economic sense?

A GREAT SPEECH

2010-01-27T22:14:00.000-06:00

I really don't care who calls me an Obamabot or a follower of Obama. I heard the president's speech tonight and was inspired by his vision. I agree with many (not all) of his policies. He was eloquent, humorous, specific and firm. A good leader must be firm and fair and I liked what he had to say.

That's all I'm going to say about that.

I'M HAVING A HANKERING FOR APPLES

2010-01-27T22:09:00.002-06:00

The new Apple tablet – iPad – was announced today and it is an amazing piece of technological innovation.

robust Internet
email
ebook reader (in color)
144,000 apps redesigned just for the iPad
SDK for third party apps
Photo sharing
Video
high quality screen
iPod
10-hour battery life (even running video)

The features go on and on and it is amazingly affordable. There is an onscreen keyboard (any orientation) which should make blogging and email and word processing (yep) easy. At 1.5 pounds and .5-inches wide, there is not much to dislike about the iPad.

I cannot imagine it would be long for comics to come to the iPad easily. If so, it will have the opportunity to change the industry. I would buy many of my comics on the iPad. Not all of them, mind you, but many of them.

I've been waiting for this for months. The biggest appeal being the book reader, but I can see so many other uses for it. By the way, one can purchase a 3G data plan for it for constant connection although it has built-in Wi-Fi.

(Update: Did I mention the accessibility features and the eco-friendliness of the construction? Accessibility: Support for playback of closed-captioned content, VoiceOver screen reader, full-screen zoom, white on black (a big deal for persons with low vision), and mono audio. Green: Arsenic-free screen, BFR-free, Mercury-free LCD display, PVC-free, and a recyclable aluminum and glass enclosure.)

A CHOICE WAS MADE FOR ME

2010-01-25T19:37:00.001-06:00

Today was a rough day, and that means a fight to keep from inhaling all the greasy goodness within reach. Imo's. I thought about Imo's all meat pizza all the way home and even tried to convince the wife that it would make life better. She wasn't buying and now that I've had my supper, I am glad for it. Although I'm still thinking about Imo's or I wouldn't have blogged about it.

I'm the cook, but because I was struggling so much tonight, the wife tied on her feminist apron and cooked Mediterranean tilapia with a vegetable-potato blend. It was great, really great and I'm feeling good for not eating Imo's. Although I do have to admit that if the pizza were in the house I would tear into it like a down-low Baptist minister on a cracked-out gay hooker.

Instead of eating 1,500 worth of calories in one meal, I had something like 300. I'm sure the fat doctor would be pleased. The day was still hard but I plan to treat it with an hour long spell of good, old fashioned television watching – Heroes. After that I may go straight to bed.

The truth is, I should be strong enough to resist that food myself and make healthy choices on my own. That is often the case, but there some days that I cannot do it. I do not expect my wife to police my food. That would place the responsibility with someone else when it should be mind. However, it's good to have someone around to help from time to time.

LUNAR-ACY IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE

2010-01-24T16:57:00.001-06:00

While the kid was outside playing, Skinny Kitty and I watched a film, a real film with acting, a strong story, and new ideas. MOON is the story of Sam who is the only workman on a lunar outpost. He oversees the harvesting of Helium 3, which is used as an alternative fuel on Earth.

The job requires a three-year stint and considering his only companion is a computer and his only connection is through videos swapped back and forth, the job is quite lonely. As Sam's contract draws nigh the long journey takes its toll. And things, well, they just get a bit nuts.

"I can't say much more," said my comic book guy who recommended the film to me. I pass that same advice on to you. I will say that they experience – if you enjoy great acting and a solid story – is worth every second.

This guy only gave the movie a B+, but I think he's off. He's off in more ways than one. I can say that because we've known one another for years. He could say the same of me. It's better than a B+. simply because of the acting let alone the script. Don't expect a laser gun fights, aliens, or big explosions. This is a low budget, high quality film that is suspenseful, slower paced, sad and unique.

I'd really like to see it nominated for an Oscar for acting and script. Not that it necessarily deserves to win best actor, but I think the performance is worth the nod.

Highly Recommended

HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT ME TO WORK OUT?

2010-01-24T12:56:00.000-06:00

They are just looking out for me, my plethora of fat doctors (general practicioner, exercise physiologist, nutritionist), but they have lost their ever-loving mind if they expect this fat feller to burn 400-500 calories a day.

Already, I get up at the crack-of-God (5:30 am) and work out on my birthday present (recumbent bicycle). It's work folks, I tell you what, for this rotund writer to turn the pedals for 25 minutes. I am huffing, puffing and sweating like a dancing mule by the time it's done and my heart rate is only 120-130. I aim for 80-88 rpms, use program 2, set the level at 4 and I average 6.5 miles.

It only burns 200 calories, but it's all I can manage. The other day the nutritionist told me to work out enough to burn 400-500 calories per day. I'll meet the sweet baby Jesus sooner rather than later if I try to meet that goal. Right now I am doing great to keep my heart rate up and still be able to walk afterwards. So I've decided to forgo his recommendation right now. I'll just do my best and work out – once – five days a week and take a leisurely bike ride on the weekends.

I'm already restricting my caloric consumption to 1,200-1,500 calories a day. Believe you me, that's work. (Truth is, I don't always hit that goal, but I try like the dickens and I am successful most days.) The good news is that my sweet tooth has all but disappeared. I have had only two cookies since September 21, 2009 and I've not had any cake, pie, cobbler, muffin or donut since that time. I've cut out most caffeine and am limiting fat.

I prefer the bicycle over the treadmill as the impact is less and I can watch TV or read (the latter being my preference as I get in my comic reading everyday during my workout).

AND NOW A RANT ABOUT THE GOLDEN GLOBES

2010-01-23T21:35:00.000-06:00

It is a travesty of monumental proportions when a recycled storyline (DANCES WITH WOLVES and FERN GULLY) is infused with CGI (righteous, incredible, eye-popping CGI though it was), then given the best picture of the year over more original scripts with rich acting.

Make no mistake. I liked AVATAR. I thought it was cool and you can read my review here. Best Special Effects I can see. Best Picture? Judas Priest! If that happens at the Oscars I'm going to eat my pinky toe.

I'm also a tad errped that Robert Downey Jr. won Best Performance in a Comedy or Musical for SHERLOCK HOLMES. The whole Holmes thing bugs me because of the pumped up, washboard stomach of Sherlock. That ain't the character, people. He ain't no kung fu stud. He's a brain.

Don't get me started on the fact that a romantic comedy won best screen play.

However ... GLEE absolutely should have won Best Television Series–Comedy or Musical. That is a clever show.

EQUALITY AND DIVERSITY ARE GOOD THINGS

2010-01-23T21:10:00.000-06:00

Our schools and communities need to do a better job and I think we just might find some consensus with that statement. Of course, where that consensus breaks down is in how we define "need to do a better job." As someone who supports social justice and equality for all persons (including gays and Muslims – the favorite victims for contemporary bullies) I got my hands on an equity and diversity quiz today. (Thanks to a Jack operative.) I thought I would share some of the stats. The quiz and the answers come from EdChange.org.

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, the percentage of U.S. schools with NO teachers of color on staff is 40%.

According to a study by the American Association of Physicians for Human Rights, 52% of physicians report witnessing a colleague giving reduced care or refusing care to lesbian, gay or bisexual patients.

Power cocain (largely used by wealthy people) and crack cocaine (largely used by economically disadvantaged people) contain roughly the same amount of drug per gram. Under federal law, an individual must possess 500 grams of powder or only 5 grams of crack to be sentenced to a mandatory minimum of five years in prison.

84.5% of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered high school students report that their teachers "never" or "rarel" respond to homophobic remarks made by other students, according to a national study by GLSEN.

Less than 1% of U.S. government budget goes to welfare while 20% goes to Social Security.

I do believe we need more teachers representing minority populations. We should not ever condone the bullying of a student, any student. We should never condone the compromise of health care based on someone's sexual orientation. When physicians report seeing this (not patients but physicians) then we have a real problem on our hands. Don't let anyone ever fool you. The rights of the people in the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered community are violated, usurped and stomped upon every day.

These individuals have a right to the same opportunities and advantages just like we straight, married, parentified, White, Christian folks do.

(Bold and uppercase emphasis is mine all mine.)

(In the interests of transparent reporting, the quiz states the stats were taken from the following entities: Agency for Healthcare and Research Quality; American Association of Physicians for Human Rights; American Civil Liberties Union; Economic Policy Institute; Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network; The Immigrtion Policy Center; National Center for Education Statistics; UNICEF; and U.S. Census Bureau.)

IT IS AN OUTRAGE

2010-01-23T20:45:00.000-06:00

Skinny Kitty and I just finished watching OUTRAGE, the documentary about closeted gay politicians who actively and aggressively vote against the rights of homosexuals. Certified Fresh by Rotten Tomatoes, the documentarian delves into the reasons and causes behind the anti-gay movement and the closeting of gay politicans and the self-hatred that invariably comes with the territory ... until the politician comes out, that is.

I had no idea that Barney Frank was gay. I was glad to see one openly gay Republican. Who knew that so many Washington staffers (Republican and Democrat) were gay? It upsets me a great deal when Americans fight to impede the rights of others: gays, people of color, women, religious groups, nonreligious groups, persons with disabilities, etc. I especially despise it when we use God to prevent their equal access. I simply do not have the words to describe my indignation when persons in those minority groups are the perpetrators.

Highly Recommended

FLAT TIRE ON ICE-COVERED ROADS: LESSONS LEARNED

2010-01-10T16:51:00.000-06:00

In extreme cold tires can lose their bead and run flat; check them often.
The ice is a hard, hurty, and downright slippery substance.
Tiny little scissor jacks don't do well on ice. (See number 2)
Unused donut spare tires lose air over time.
If all else fails, call AAA. (That's why you paid for it)
Tennis shoes are not the same as snow boots.

I am a big feller – plenty of Thicksulate to keep me warm – and I am manly enough to change my own tire. I noticed our car was not working well on the ice this morning (after we headed to church) so I pulled over and checked things over. The front passenger tire was flat and the left driver was low. Like the dad in A Christmas Story, I popped out and thought myself a NASCAR pit crew of one. I pulled out the rinky-dink scissor jack, donut tire then assessed the situation. It went something like this:

Contemplated the slope (to the right) of the road
Considered the solid sheet of ice
Looked at the right passenger tire
Remembered the freezing temperatures and the fact my car sits outside
Daydreamed about bloody knuckles trying to pry loose frozen lugnuts, kicking the tire to get it off the mount, watching the scissor jack slip out and come crashing toward me.
Called AAA roadside assistance

It's a good thing. The guy tried his lug wrench then switched to the pneumatic. I was right; the lug nuts were frozen. He had to use a rubber mallet to knock the tire loose. I was right about that, too. He tried to air up my flat spare, but it was so cold that his air nipple fell plumb off. So he jumped in his rig and took the donut to Git-In-Go to air it up.

I called the shop where I bought my tires and they held a spot open for me. I drove in and they got right to it, remounting both front tires. I did noticed that my feet were a bit – shall we say – cold. I was wearing my sneakers rather than snow boots. While they worked on the car the wife brought me dry socks and shoes and we headed straight to Pro Bass for these boots. They are warm, warm, warm and easy to put on. There's just no sense going without proper footwear (hats or gloves) when it is this cold. Had it happened on my way to work or to Branson I might have had frostbite.

THE TWO GEEKS

2010-01-10T16:22:00.000-06:00

I am raising a good girl. She is a nice mix of girl and geek: girlygeekchic. She loves pink and blue and sports and The Lord of the Rings. That last one required a bit of coaxing, but once we sat down she was hooked.

It all started earlier this week as she and I were home because of the snow. We watched the Rankin/Bass classic, The Hobbit animated film – one of my childhood favorites. Then I convinced her to try The Fellowship of the Ring. It was a hard sell as her mother uses that film to tease me so the kid was skeptical. Once I turned it on, she got into it. She's a geek at heart and loves those fantasy stories. I paused often to make sure she understood (she did most of the time) and to fill in gaps.

I nearly hit the floor when she asked – repeatedly – to watch The Two Towers. They are long movies for an elementary aged student, but she kept in there. We watched the first half of the extended version then took a break. I can't wait to give her the rest as it really kicks into gear.

She is raised well and will go far in this world where geeks are taking over.

WALMART AND H&M CAUGHT DESTROYING UNSOLD CLOTHES RATHER THAN DONATING THEM

2010-01-08T11:06:00.000-06:00

Walmart and a chain I've never head of, H&M, were caught by a university student destroying brand new, tagged clothing to make room for the new stock. The story hit the Times and The Huffington Post. The issue is that the clothing has been intentionally destroyed rather than donating to the homeless.

"'Gloves with the fingers cut off,' Ms. Magnus said, reciting the inventory of ruined items. 'Warm socks. Cute patent leather Mary Jane school shoes, maybe for fourth graders, with the instep cut up with a scissor. Men’s jackets, slashed across the body and the arms. The puffy fiber fill was coming out in big white cotton balls.' The jackets were tagged $59, $79 and $129." (Times)

H&M has vowed to stop the destruction and donate the items to charity. A Walmart spokesperson stated items are usually donated and planned to investigate. It seems the most responsible thing to do with unsold clothing would be to donate them rather than send them to a landfill. They do no one any good in the dirt.

Skinny Kitty and I are not a multi-national corporation but even we practice responsible citizenship by donating. We hold a garage sale every year; it is our attempt to recoup money for items we no longer need. The items that do not sell are given to The Salvation Army or Goodwill. The only thing thrown away is trash. To me, it seems the most responsible behavior. Sure, I have to take time out to stack the items in the car and drive them to the charitable location, but it is the right thing to do.

COLD WEATHER COOKING

2010-01-07T09:10:00.003-06:00

I made a mad dash to the grocery store yesterday to pick up some items in order to make some warm dishes for the family. No, it was not a run for French Toast supplies (milk, bread, eggs). I came home and made chili and vegetable beef soup. It's the vegetable beef soup recipe that I will share.

FAT JACK'S VEGGIE-BEEF SOUP – SLOW COOKER STYLE

1 small lean beef roast (I used eye of round roast)

1 large onion quartered

2 large potatoes peeled and chopped

2 packets Lipton onion soup mix

2 cups red wine

1 64 ounce jug V-8

1-2 packages of frozen veggies

3 garlic cloves chopped

1-2 cartons beef broth

Put the roast in a big crock pot. Add Lipton onion soup mix, onions and potatoes. Pour in red wine and then add some beef broth until 3/4 of the roast is submerged. Cook on low for 6-8 hours (or high for 4 hours).

When done, take out the roast and shred and chop it. My girls like the beef pretty small. Take out the onions and potatoes and cut them into smaller pieces if necessary. Add it all back to the crock pot. If your crock pot isn't big enough, then transfer to a stock pot. Throw all items in the pot and bring to a boil. Then simmer for an hour or so.

I use V-8 instead of tomato juice because I want the veggies and it increases the flavor. I don't measure out the V-8 or the beef broth. I just add both until it looks right.

We are going to serve it with grilled cheese, but crackers or french bread would be good.

RONALD REAGAN IN COMICS

2010-01-07T08:54:00.000-06:00

My issue of POLITICAL POWER: RONALD REAGAN came in yesterday (preview here). But ainchya a liberal? Yeah, but I love comics and think comic biographies are cool. I also bought the one about that Alaskan governor that up and quit. Bluewater Productions has put out all kinds of political comics including one about BO OBAMA, the president's dog.

I will not, however, come close to the LIMBAUGH one. First of all, if he really cared about his political views, he would quit the entertainment industry and run for office so he could practice what he preaches. That would be work. Enough of that.

I read a biography of Reagan once. It was for a history class and was required (reading and a paper). I actually found it quite interesting.

WOMAN WITH BI-POLAR DENIED ACCESS TO CHURCH OF HER CHOICE

2010-01-05T19:25:00.001-06:00

I'm offering the following stories without much comment. Mostly because we have little information, not enough to make an educated and informed decision. Cases involving mental illness are very complicated. I know this first hand as I have been connected to three persons with bi-polar disorder. None of them were family members, but they were friends or family of friends.

First, the woman in question, Barbara Gingrich, was found incompetent by a judge and was appointed a legal guardian. According to the story, Gingrich was not taking her diabetes or other medications, lived in filth including mold and dog feces. She has also had involuntary holds in a mental health facility. Typically, that means someone was a danger to themselves or others, but I cannot speculate if that was the case here because there is not enough information.

Gingrich was thenmoved into a nursing home by her public administrator. The PA then denied Gingrich access to her home church. The PA stated the nursing home had a church.

There are three stories from the St. Joe News. It makes for interesting reading and subsequent discussion.

Before advocacy

During advocacy

After advocacy

(By the way, it was an evil government agency that fought for this woman's rights and obtained hfor her the right to go back to church.)

FIX VS FILL

2010-01-02T14:39:00.000-06:00

I've had my fix of sci-fi over the holidays. Skinny Kitty, on the other hand, has had her fill of the genre. She's quite pleased that our Netflix queue has no more aliens, robots, space ships, or electrical doohickeys.

I think she might have liked 9 (not the new musical, but the Tim Burton flick) a lot more if we had not already watched TERMINATOR: SALVATION, DISTRICT 9 and AVATAR. We also watched HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE. You and I know POTTER isn't sci-fi, but Skinny Kitty lumps science fiction and fantasy into the same boat. She doesn't care for either one too much and she certainly does not like a marathon gizmos and gadgets.

In my defense, we have also watched a documentary (which I also enjoy), two kid-friendly romantic comedies (17 AGAIN and FOUR CHRISTMASES), and a kid's movie (HANNAH MONTANA). We have another comedy sitting on the shelf. I think it was a fair trade, thankee sai.

PRAWN TEMPURA

2010-01-02T12:48:00.000-06:00

I highly recommend DISTRICT 9 if you 1) enjoy sci-fi, 2) like a documentary-style movie, 3) are looking for something different than the traditional alien fare. It has a 90% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoe. Perhaps the ending could have been better, as suggested by more than one critic, but for me DISTRICT 9 worked well and entertained. My wife found the ending sad, which I think says something when she connects to the outwardly disgusting child prawn.

We will see what happens when DISTRICT 10 hits screens, and I am assuming it will. One things for sure, oftentimes our humanitarian acts do nothing but make things worse. That was the point, right?

MOVIES TO RENT BEFORE THE OSCARS

2010-01-01T20:57:00.000-06:00

CNN offers a list of the best and worst in filmaking in 2009. How Ninja Assassin did not make the list astounds me (not really even though I loved it).

Movies on the list that I've either seen or were already on my Netflix queue are (in no particular order):

Inglorious Basterds
Ponyo
Coraline
The Headless Woman
The Hurt Locker
Fantastic Mr. Fox

I agreed with the writer that the Star Trek reboot and Where The Wild Things Are were wicked-cool. I really don't care about the worst of 2009. If you do (and it's fine if you do) then you can click over to the story and read for yourself.

WE ARE ALL FARTING RAINBOWS HERE

2010-01-01T20:32:00.000-06:00

Judas Priest! If I read any more sappy, sentimental, well-wishing New Years blog posts I'm going to hurl. Somewhere Emmeline Grangerford is shoving her finger down her own throat.

I'm all for happy, jolly joy and plenty of introspection – although I think we should constantly evaluate ourselves and our beliefs – but do all these blog posts have to be Hallmark cards? It's like Strawberry Shortcake's funeral at the Precious Moments chapel with the Care Bears singing Amazing Grace.

IRON MAN AND WAR MACHINE

2009-12-31T14:41:00.000-06:00

Comics books, technology, blowin' stuff up, crazy laser whips, AC/DC soundtrack in the trailer: How much cooler can IRON MAN 2 get? And the movie has that guy from SNAKES ON A PLANE and PULP FICTION.

Looks like someone is out for revenge and we should see plenty of crap get blown sky high, and smart alack remarks. Hopefully, our star won't get too cool for his own iron skin.

Iron Man 2 Trailer

STOP JUMPING ON ME!

2009-12-30T20:34:00.000-06:00

The new Super Mario Bros. Wii is a big old B. Yes indeedy, it is a hard game, at least for us. The wife, daughter and I have been playing it since we got for Christmas. Well, "playing" is a bit of a soft word. A choicer way to describe our interaction is more kin to inspirational hollering.

"Go! Go! Go!" (sometimes you have to hurry)
"Don't jump on me!" (it's so irritating when you are trying to beat the level)
"Wait! Don't go so fast!" (you die if you get left behind)

When the level is over we are all high five-ing and saying how we knew we could do it. But in the middle of the jumping, you'd think we didn't like one another very much. A podcast would be a great idea if it weren't so embarrassing.

We finally beat the level we were on, usurping the monster in the castle. He, of course, flew away to occupy another castle and we must now make our way across the land to fight him again. It's hard but quite satisfying.

The biggest (and nicest) change made over the old school game is that four people can play simultaneously. This is both a boon and a curse as there are times the other players hold you back. Still, it's more of a family affair that way, even if you do yell your inspirations. Santa brought us the wii the first year they came out and I can say that our family plays it together often. It's simply a lot of fun.

And don't get me started on Wii Sports Resort. That game kicks butt. My three favs are frisby golf, archery and table tennis.

Keep in mind that you are required to have a Wii motion adapter for every remote in order to play Sports Resort. That also works on Super Mario Bros. and I am assuming that all the new games will require it.

MESSED UP POOH-BAAS

2009-12-29T10:01:00.000-06:00

Everyone likes a good New Year's Eve party. Personally, I think mixing Christmas and New Years is a wonderful idea. This is easy to do by drinking several bottles of Evan Williams Egg Nog the last night of the year and then hurling into your date's lap. If you are really dope, then you'll French kiss her afterward. Yeah, I know a story.

Before you do, you might want to check out the 5 Drinking Myths Than Can Kill You from your friends at Cracked.com. Just in case you wondered you absolutely, positively, without-a-doubt cannot eat your underbritches in a dillweeded attempted to beat a breathalyzer.

In case that was not enough comedy to soak your socks, you might try click over to the blogger that rohrs and read his Top Ten Predictions for 2010. Want to know my personal favs? No? Well you can suck it. I'm going to list them anyway. That's how I roll.

Jesse Jackson's love child will ghostwrite John Edwards' love child's tell-all memoir
Sarah Palin will become the first victim of Barack Obama's first death panel
Dick Cheney will preemptively invade a 4:30 buffet
George W. Bush-era nostalgia will reign as folks remember the Good Times when you used to could mortgage your house to put gas in your Hummer. Now we are all just living in our cars.

Happy New Year and be sure to take a cab so you don't kill my baby. Jerk.

ON THE RENTAL SHELF

2009-12-29T09:30:00.000-06:00

I have every intention of watching a boatload of movies this week. I am managing a movie a day and hope that trend continues.

ALREADY WATCHED

Four Christmases

This didn't get great reviews, but I liked it. Typical Christmas comedy with some drama and character change at the end. It was fun nonetheless and some of the quotes were hysterical.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

I've been looking forward to this one since it came out. So much praise for this installment of the series. I was surprised at the pace of the story. It was unusually slow going for a Potter film. It took it's time developing the characters and the plot, not rushing things. I liked that. I was surprised the daughter stuck with it. I stopped often and explained things to her like back story and horcruxes. That helped her a lot. It's been a long time since I read the book, and my memory may be faulty, but I remember a huge battle scene in the end between the students and the Death Eaters at Hogwarts. Am I mistaken or did the movie leave that out? Didn't kids die in that battle? Anyway, I enjoyed it a good deal.

CURRENTLY AT HOME (THANKS TO NETFLIX)

I love Tim Burton and cannot wait for this gem to hit the mailbox. I should get it tomorrow.

Terminator: Salvation

Big fan of sci-fi. The wife ... not so much. I'm going to watch this one while the wife and daughter are out shopping and doing girly things. The second in the series was the best for me, followed closely by the first one. I wasn't too impressed with the third one. Who knows what this one will turn out like.

District 9

This is the big dog for me. I wanted so badly to see this in the theaters but never got the chance. I have heard so many good things about this sci-fi flick.

WISH IT WOULD COME

Inglorious Basterds

I've had Quentin Tarantino's WWII film on my Netflix queue since the movie hit screens, but it has a very long wait on it. Dang. Double dang. I am salivating at this one as I am a huge fan of Tarantino. I consider him to be the greatest filmmaker of my generation.

Cloudy with a Change of Meatballs

Oh why not? The kid will love it. I want to see what they are going to do with it. So interesting, this one is.

A THOUGHT ABOUT AVATAR

2009-12-29T09:13:00.000-06:00

The wife, 'rents, kids, cousins and siblings all traversed the Branson strip on Christmas day to see James Cameron's AVATAR in 3D. I'm not a fan of 3D and really wanted to see it in 2D, but everyone else was jazzed about the glasses. So I did it anyway, thinking it would give me the headache of a lifetime.

Skinny Kitty gave me three ibuprofen before going in. She's good like that, always carrying the right things in that suitcase-like purse of hers. Here are a few thoughts:

Obvious Oscar winner for best special effects, hands down. Dang!
3D was the most righteous 3D I've ever witnessed. Didn't bother me at all. Nadda.
The 2:45 run time went by like greased lightning.
Cross between FERN GULLY and DANCING WITH WOLVES

It's a habit of ours to see a movie after ripping into presents. We look forward to it, planning the best move, time and screen to see it. Sometimes we take kids and sometimes we do not. We've seen all three LORD OF THE RINGS movies on the Imax, which was wicked cool.

Avatar was worth it, and despite my general disgust for 3D, I recommend the glasses. The kind we had were wide so as to fit over my glasses. Much appreci-o for that one. Made the experience much better.

CIVIC TOXICITY

2009-12-20T06:56:00.000-06:00

Andy Cline, a journalism professor at Missouri State and the head dude at Rhetorica dropped his Springfield News-Leader subscription calling the local daily "toxic". He cites the opinions page as a significant factor.

It's one thing when a local yokel like myself chooses not to take the paper. It's another thing when a journalism professor stops his subscription. I don't think it will make any difference to the paper, but I find it all very interesting.

FAT JACK'S FRENCH ONION SOUP – HILLBILLY STYLE

2009-12-16T21:11:00.000-06:00

Being the non-traditionalists we are, my wife and I are serving French Onion Soup for Christmas rather than turkey and trimmings that the world expects. The reasoning is two-fold: 1) We are non-conformists and like to do things differently, and 2) it is much healthier.

The fancy way is to make the soup served with toasted French bread in the soup and then broiled with cheese on the top. We are opting for the more hillbilly style of grilled cheese sandwiches that one may just dunk in the soup. The whole idea makes me laugh, but it is great.

Here is my recipe, which is really just an amalgam of two recipes totally ripped off from The Food Network's Paula Dean and Ina Garten:

FAT JACK'S FRENCH ONION SOUP – HILLBILLY STYLE

6 yellow onions, halved and sliced

1/3 cup olive oil

1 bay leaf

2 tablespoons flour

1 cup brandy

1 1/4 cup white wine

9 cups of beef stock

1/2 teaspoon thyme

Saute onions and bay leaf in olive oil for 20 minutes on medium-high heat until golden brown. Add flour and continue to brown for another 10 minutes or so. Deglaze the pan with brandy. Add white wine and simmer for 15 minutes. Add beef stock and thyme and simmer for 20 minutes. Remove the bay leaf.

I make mine ahead of time and refrigerate over night. I think it tastes better after it chills and is reheated. Serve with grilled cheese sandwiches on the side. We choose hearty whole grain bread and shredded cheese, but one could use any bread/cheese combo.

ONE DOWN

2009-12-14T19:57:00.000-06:00

Today I managed to hold my ground against a beastly buffet of holiday foods. I ate my grocery store sushi and lightly salted almonds while amidst a mouth-watering and crisco-covered holiday delicacies. I rarely have that kind of will power. Rarely. I must admit that my inner fatty was hollering quite loudly that "one little bit of that egg quiche would not hurt anybody."

It would and I refrained. I finally left and went back to my business in another room. Catastrophe avoided ... for now. I do not promise to have such wherewithal to do it again, but I celebrate today.

THE FAT TRACK

2009-12-12T10:51:00.000-06:00

I'm back on the track again. The fat doctor continues to insist that exercise is some kind of important detail in the weight loss journey.

Ooooh, I hate that guy so much.

I pass by a treadmill every day. I finally got tired of looking at it and hid it behind a decorative tri-fold screen. That way I don't hear its taunts so often. Bastard machine.

This week I started getting up a 5:30 a.m. and walking the confounded beast before getting ready for work. Lo and behold it has worked pretty well. I either listen to the iPod or read a book with fairly large print. I even did it on Saturday although I did sleep until 6:30 before I got busy.

Yes, yes. I do feel better. It's still hard to do. Bad habits and all that.

CHRISTIANS,MUSLIMS HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON: HATRED OF GAYS

2009-12-08T18:28:00.000-06:00

Uganda is considering a new law that not only makes the practice of homosexuality illegal (it's already illegal in Uganda anyway) but they are considering a law that will put gays in jail for life or execute them.

Christian and Muslim religious leaders have strongly supported the measure. Check out this bill of sale from CNN:

Gays and lesbians convicted of having gay sex would be sentenced, at minimum, to life in prison
People who test positive for HIV may be executed
Homosexuals who have sex with a minor, or engage in homosexual sex more than once, may also receive the death penalty
The bill forbids the "promotion of homosexuality," which in effect bans organizations working in HIV and AIDS prevention
Anyone who knows of homosexual activity taking place but does not report it would risk up to three years in prison

"Love the person; hate the sin" say many Christians. I'm not sure what that means and none but one have ever attempted to site specific examples of this mantra being used appropriately. Maybe someday. Until then, the persecution of gays will continue, and all in the name of Jesus and apparently Mohammad.